Poker Face
by bickeringgibberish
Summary: Sometimes lies can be concealed by the truth. Feelings too, like his Poker Face. COMPLETE. FINALLY
1. Memory 1: the break up

**POKERFACE**

By: Suikashan

**Summary: "I… It's not you, it's me." He said eyes fixed on me. I laughed at him, "that line sucks Natsume, now tell me why. I'm not that stupid." He sighed, "You're too possessive, I can't stand it anymore." I smiled, "it's alright, and I'm letting you go."**

**A/N: new story, take note, this is not inspired by the song poker face, well… maybe just a bit, but this is not a song-fic. The plot came to my mind yesterday. Please enjoy. Please leave a review too. I cannot promise you that I'll update this sooner than he is my master but nonetheless I'll finish this. I just passed my COCC training and guess what? I'm an officer already! It's a big achievement for me and I'm so happy for I fulfilled it!.**

**Let it start**

**Suikashan.**

**-O-**

**CHAPTER 1: The Break-up**

Sakura Mikan is known as one of the most beautiful women in Gakuen Alice, A goddess whom one dreams of almost every time they sleep and daydream of every time they wake up or get bored in class. Nobody could resist her personality and beauty, for she was smart, for her lowest grades are only ranging from B+ to A-. Outgoing, ever-friendly, extra-cheerful and smiles almost every day of her life, she is the head cheerleader of the school and an active officer of their student body, She looks very simple but somewhat elegant, Auburn hair tied in a ponytail most of the time that reaches down to her waist, bangs swept aside emphasizing her round and innocent amber eyes, a pointed nose, pearly white teeth, plump and rosy pink lips. Her skin color was perfectly fair, though sometimes when the sun touches her flesh, she appears to be white in color, and a height of probably 5'5.

Even though she is considered one of the most beautiful women, nobody can come near her, for a rose is always surrounded by thorns, and those thorns are none other than her boy friend—Hyuuga Natsume.

If Sakura Mikan is known as a goddess, I can tell you that Hyuuga Natsume is a god himself who went here to earth to find himself another celestial being to be with, he is a genius, having an IQ of 170, purely athletic, which you can prove by just seeing his own body when he practices for his games. He is one of the hottest men in the campus, having those crimson eyes that will melt you the moment you lay your eyes on them, it is the most mysterious part of his body, seeing that one can fall into its depths one he catches you staring. His hair is fixed in the most untidy—but mind you, a sexy way, he is taller than her girlfriend of course by 6 inches to be exact. His eyes were only trained on one girl unlike his friends whom are fond of one night stands.

And now she was sitting inside the Café they first had a date, it wasn't really planned but Mikan needed help, for her parents wanted her to show them her boyfriend, whom she had been talking about, but since she had none, she turned to Hotaru, (her best friend) to find her a boyfriend.

"_Come with me Mikan," Hotaru dragged her outside their last period classroom to a place she doesn't know where._

"_Wait, where are you taking me, mum's gonna kill me if I don't arrive there at the said time!" she tried yanking her arm off, but Hotaru's grip was too tight._

_Her Amethyst eyes flashed as Mikan whined while she dragged her, "and what's the point of going there when you don't have a boyfriend to show?"_

_At this point Mikan's frown blossomed into a smile, "You found me one?!"_

_Hotaru nodded at her question, "Yes and you're gonna meet him right now."_

"_Who is he?" she asked curiously._

"_Hyuuga Natsume," and at the same time she mentioned the name, the said man appeared in front of them with his best bud—who happens to be Hotaru's boyfriend, Ruka Nogi. And at the same time when her eyes met his, she fell into his depths and she couldn't get out_.

She smiled at the memory, as she drank her tea, she doesn't know why she's having this flashback, but something was nagging her behind her mind. She sighed and glanced at the clock hanging on the wall adjacent to hers, Natsume is never late when they have dates, but as she can clearly see, he is already 20 minutes late.

She is getting bored by just looking at people who pass by as she guessed what they do for a living, happy couples walk to and fro, eyes laughing and hands holding, she had been dating Natsume for a month but he isn't the affectionate type, true he would squeeze her shoulders when she can see men surrounding her while she chatted quite pleasantly, and the way Natsume would just yank her back whenever she would fall clumsily then afterwards scolding her with the same line over and over again, "You _Baka_! Watch where you're going!" and she would smile a sheepish one as he sighs.

And he is always busy, sometimes he would simply tell her to go to a place and then when she arrives he would call and say he couldn't come because something came up. But she understands, Natsume _is_ the Hyuuga Heir, he needs to attend those facilities and all the sorts, he would make up to it by kissing her sweetly and giving her gifts that she doesn't need—but nonetheless she can still consider it sweet.

"Sorry I'm late," came a husky voice that made her ears perk up and eyes look up with so much pride, it was him, he looked at her, in a cold way, and Mikan didn't understand why, she didn't do anything wrong these past few days, so why is he looking at her like that.

She stared at him; curiosity filled her orbs, "is there something wrong? Have you eaten by the way?" she touched his skin, but he jerked his arm away. "Natsume?"

He looked outside, "listen can we talk privately? I mean just the two of us, I want—I want to discuss something important to you." Mikan reluctantly stood up and followed him, Natsume's aura was so different, and the cold atmosphere surrounding him was colder than before. She stared at him worriedly, maybe something went wrong in his meeting or practice maybe.

"oi! Don't make me wait here," he snapped at her, she snapped out of her thoughts and walked faster, a smile covering her face.

"Where are we going Natsume?" but he didn't answer anymore.

**-O-**

He lead her to a park, but he didn't hold her hand, he didn't even look at her as she hurried just to get near him, there are kids all over the park, particularly on the playground but other than that they were the only people there, and it made her quite uneasy. She looked around, the sun was almost setting and that made her smile, _maybe he has a surprise for me._ She thought with a smile, he sat himself down on a bench, facing the playground and something caught his eye, an Ice cream truck. He glanced at her and sighed.

"Would you like some ice cream?"

She smiled at him faintly but shook her head, "I'm not in the mood for ice cream Natsume, why are we here? I mean what do you want to tell me?"

He stared at her for a while, "I insist on the ice cream, I would really like to treat you today."

She laughed at him, "what's with you today? All of a sudden treating me for an ice cream." She laughed and stared at him, "fine, I want strawberry."

He stood up and began walking towards the ice cream truck. She sighed, _I'm afraid—he's gonna break up with me_. She thought bitterly as she stared at Natsume's back. Bitter tears filled her eyes as she tried to tell herself not to cry, but this is her instinct, he is gonna break up with her.

"What are you thinking about?" he snapped annoyingly, Mikan looked up and smiled widely, then took her ice cream cone; he ordered the same thing as hers and then sat down.

She licked the cool surface of the said desert and frowned slightly, Natsume isn't talking that much and she really is worried.

"I've noticed you aren't talking that much."

"I _don't_ talk that much." he said flatly, he was about to finish his own cone while she is still licking hers.

"I mean—"

"Finish that first and we'll talk," he cut her off, Mikan's open mouth obliged as she sighed.

She finished the cone and then turned to him, "what do you want to talk about?" she asked eagerly. He sighed and turned his head towards her, his eyes were straightly looking at her and now she can feel that he really is serious about this so-called talk.

"I-I wanna tell you something Mikan, no don't talk, let me finish, I know that these past few days, we've enjoyed one another's company but—" Mikan held her breath, "I'm afraid this isn't working out."

She gaped at him, "but--but—but we've been dating, we've—we've had so much fun! I've never done' something wrong to you, I—I—" she was right, he is gonna break up with her and tears threatened to fall down. "W-Why?" she finally asked, though her voice was hoarse as she looked at her lap, determination filled her voice.

He took her chin and pulled it up to face her, "don't cry—I hate it when you cry, Mikan, it's just that—" he looked away, trying to find the right words, finally his shoulders dropped, "it's just that—Mikan it's—it's not you, it's me."

And she laughed, making him look at her surprised, "Natsume, that line sucks, I'm not stupid, tell me, that's the lamest excuse ever, I've heard it for a million times, tell me _why_." She stared at him, "you're hurting me, tell me so that I will not cry. Lying isn't the answer in this—" she's about to say _argument_ but she laughed at her own self, they're not having an argument for God's sake, this is their _breakup_! "B-Breakup."

He looked away and placed his elbows by his knees, he ran his hands through his hair and sighed once again, "you—you're to possessive, I—I can't stand it anymore." She was trying to think of why did he say that, but she knows that contemplating at this time and trying to tell him that she wants to try again was impossible. Instead she's going to let him go.

He was still in that position after she stopped crying—well, not really cried. She stood up and went in front of him, he looked up, from his position only to meet her smiling eyes, he was so confused. She should've slapped him and went ranting about new girlfriends or flings or whatever reasons but she didn't. She just smiled at him and took his hand in hers.

"Thank you for being honest Natsume, I won't cry for I've never regretted anything in this relationship that we shared, and I—I thank you for everything. It's _alright_," she added again seeing him open his mouth to speak, "I'm letting you go." And with that, her hand left his, her strawberry scent left his surrounding, her warmth left him and true enough when he looked up once again, Mikan wasn't there anymore, Mikan is gone—forever.

**CHAPTER 1 END**

**-O-**

**A/N: reviews everybody, thank you for reading though this is quit a short chapter, this chapter only discusses their break up, for flashbacks would be shown in the next chapters. I will see you soon everyone since its my vacation, though I'm going to take Review Classes in my school since I'm going to take college exams. By the way hi to Annaoj and Thereese!**

**Ja,**

**Suikashan.**


	2. Memory 2: wake up call

**Poker Face**

**By: Suikashan**

**Summary: "I… It's not you, it's me." He said eyes fixed on me. I laughed at him, "that line sucks Natsume, now tell me why. I'm not that stupid." He sighed, "You're too possessive, I can't stand it anymore." I smiled, "it's alright, and I'm letting you go."**

**A/N: thank you to the 21 people who reviewed in my first chapter, by the way, I hate you Annaoj. Just kidding, anyways, I know all of you are curious why they broke up, or why did Natsume say that Mikan was so possessive, even though we all know that Mikan isn't. It's just Natsume's point of view and we can't do anything about it. LOL. What COCC means btw is: I really don't remember but it's not important anyways. **

**Let it start!**

**Suikashan**

**-O-**

**Memory 2: Wake up calls**

**S**akura Mikan groggily went up from her bed, her eyes were red and swollen, (not that she cried over Natsume.) hair tangled and flying all over her face much to her disgust, she held her head for a while, thinking why she suddenly got up, _oh, I have classes today_, she thought grumpily as she swung her legs to the side of her bed and her foot made contact with her white tiles. She moaned out because of the coldness but nonetheless jumped up the bed and groped for her fluffy pink slippers—which Natsume gave her, two weeks ago.

She stared at it for a while, racking her brains, oh—the Hyuuga Natsume who broke up with her just yesterday, resulting to stress, eye bags and a pissed off mood. She was silently debating if she'll give _his_ gifts back, like all those stupid girls she watched in soaps and movies after the so called breakup. But what'll he do with these anyways? She pictured him using these slippers as he walked around his condominium unit, and when he opens the door for room service the said man would either debate inside his mind or with a colleague if the Hyuuga Natsume is gay or what. She laughed at herself, what a cruel way to think about your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend I mean.

The beep of her phone made her snap out of her thoughts and made her jump across the room just to rummage for it, she was groping around her bag, inside her dresser and cabinet. She cursed herself then looked around, she saw it by her bedside table and with a roll of her eyes, she walked calmly towards it and grabbed it, _Natsume's wake up call… _she thought, a grin appearing on her face, but it turned into a frown as she remembered, he isn't your boyfriend, he wouldn't be doing that anymore.

She flipped her phone open and stared at screen of her phone, with the background picture of the two of them which she swore, she is gonna change afterwards. It read:

**1 voice message from Imai Hotaru**

**6:50 AM**

She stared at it in disbelief, Hotaru is not a morning person and she knows that very well, she flipped her phone open and stared at the message:

**I heard about **_**it**_**, (Mikan smirked, Hotaru refused to call a 'break up' break up.) Ruka told me last night seems like the black cat confided to his best pal. Are you awake? You'd better go to school early, because I am gonna kill that jerk in case I see him and I want you to watch that for free. This is only a once in a life time experience so wake up and get dressed. This is your wake up call.**

Mikan smiled a wake up call. A wake up call from her best friend, she smiled to herself and went into the bathroom to take a quick bath, for she is going to be late if she stays longer. She hurriedly grabbed her towel and ran towards her bathroom, tripping on her bag, thinking why she placed that there, then proceeding to her bathroom.

Hot shower, that is all she needs right now, she needs to clear up her clouded mind, crying over Natsume last night was just normal right? I mean, girls who break up with their boyfriends do that most of the time—but she cried only for 30 minutes no less, then fell asleep. She didn't even have the time to think of why Natsume said those things, and _now_ is the time to think. She rubbed her neck, Possessiveness? Like hell, she doesn't even know what the heck that means. Natsume can do whatever he wants as long as she _is _the only one he dates.

"Natsume," she whispered, now she will be forced to call him Hyuuga-san, because this time onwards—Hyuuga Natsume is not connected to her anymore, not now and not tomorrow. She closed her eyes; the steam is getting into her head, memories were flooding in, his smiles, though they were quite rare, his laughs, his glares and his—his everything, and awhile ago, she thought that it was him who called, it was him who would be the first one who would at the very least greet her first in the morning even with a short: _Polka, you'll be late_. But no… she clenched her fist and slumped her back against the tiles; Natsume will never do that again, for he is not hers anymore and she is no longer his. She held her face, "oh god," she murmured, hot water mixing with her own tears, "_I_ need you… _Natsume_, I need _you_."

"_Mou! I always wake up late!" Mikan moaned heavily as she rested her head into her hands and slammed her fists repeatedly on the table, making all the glasses go up and down due to her actions, Hyuuga Natsume stared at her through the manga he was holding then shook his head in annoyance._

"_You'll become an idiot if you repeat that again," he scolded turning to another page of his article. She pulled herself up and glared at him._

"_At the very least try to solve this sleeping problem of mine than read that silly manga of yours," she slapped the manga away and held his arm tightly, "please, help me Natsume!" _

_He growled at her, shook her arm away and took his manga which was on the floor. "Hey that's even hentai! You don't change do you?!" she was pouting at him eyes menacing; he looked up and gave her a sly fox like grin. "__**You**__ love it when I'm a pervert," he pointed out to her. She backed off a bit a blush creeping into her cheeks. "Only at certain times, you idiot." She whispered. She felt him lean back and then felt his arm snake behind her back. She moved her head to look at him._

"_What time do you wake up anyways?"_

"_Well… my clock starts to wake me up at 7:00, but I always end up waking up at 30." She stuck her tongue out and laughed._

"_No wonder you're always late." He stated nonchalantly. She frowned even more, "thank you so much for your help, Natsume." She thought of another option._

"_Maybe, I'll just stay with Hotaru or ask her to make a new invention…"_

"_To what? To kill you the first thing in the morning?"_

"_What do you exactly mean?"_

"_Really, are you an A+ student or what?"_

"_The most severe injury I got from one of Hotaru's invention is… a large bruise on my head, nothing more. So basically, I can handle that, ne?"_

_Natsume sighed to himself, "maybe that's why you got smart."_

"_Are you implying that I __**am**__ an idiot?" she asked indignantly._

"_Probably."_

"_Natsume!" she raised her fist almost slapping him in annoyance. He gave her a 'do it' look before chuckling to himself and proceeding back to his manga. She huffed and slid lower into her seat. He sighed to himself then turned to her._

"_Want me to wake you up?" he muttered almost to himself._

"_Really?!" she squealed, eyes turning bright all of a sudden._

"_Do I have a choice?"_

"_Of course not! I love you Natsume!" she threw her arms around his neck and snuggled up to him. He sighed to himself and closed his eyes, feeling her body against his, he was contented, she is everything he needs, and he knows that._

_Can't read my_

_Can't read my_

_No he can't read my Poker Face…_

"_Hello?" Mikan dragged her 'o' longer than the other letters of her answer as she rolled off her bed, not knowing she is by the edge thus causing a loud thud in her part._

'You alright Polka?'_ the man on the other line said, she moaned heavily and pulled herself out of the mess she was in. she rubbed her head._

"_This is unexpected." She muttered heavily, "this is much worse than Hotaru's invention." She jumped up, opened her eyes, squinting for a while for the sun went through her eyes almost easily, blinding her all of a sudden. "Oww…"_

'What's the matter? Oi idiot, I'd better hear you go to your bathroom right now because I'm not hanging up unless you go there.'

_She growled, "I'm going I'm going!" she walked towards the bathroom and opened the shower, "Kyaaaa! Shit I'm still on my clothes! Goddammit!"_

_And at the other end of the line, Natsume laughed, and this continued…_

But this time, everything's gone, and crashing down.

She opened her eyes once again, what is she gonna do now; kill herself like all those lovesick people? Or drown herself into alcohol? What? What now? She is almost drowning, not because of the water, but because of her thoughts, just thinking about her options is so stupid that she can almost laugh, maybe Natsume's right—she's an idiot, a stupid little girl, but she knows that Natsume isn't the only guy in this world, sooner or later she'll realize that his decision is right, for next year maybe his parents will pair him up with a girl much more deserving than her and maybe…soon her parents too, would pair her up with someone else, someone she doesn't know, she doesn't love—but she knows and now she believes… that you can teach a heart to love. All she has to do right now is…

To keep up with her Poker face…

**-O-**

"I'm laaaaate!" Mikan screamed after jumping out of her car, she was probably a meter away when she forgot that her Blazer and bag were still inside, sighing and kicking a pebble on the ground she turned back and ran towards her car, she fished her keys out of her pocket and threw her door open in disgust. "why do I have to be freaking late?!" she screamed to herself, while placing her blazer on. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, this is where she'll be able to meet Natsume and this is where she needs to practice her act—at Gakuen Alice.

If this isn't Gakuen Alice then she wouldn't be placing too much effort, people inside this school are very sneaky, they know the latest trends, the juiciest topics and all the sorts, plus the fact that this is the _most_ prestigious school in Japan, harnessing every wealthy and Talented individuals' abilities and skills. So basically, when someone finds out about the break-up, other than Hotaru and Ruka of course, the news will spread like wild fire, and befor you can say 'that's not true!' your secret will be revealed whether you like it or not.

And the teachers are quite nosy too, they'll be all over you when they find out that you're together so most of the couples ended into break up because of teachers' rumors. Glad they didn't end up like that.

She ran towards their locker room which was in the basement, people greeted her when she passed by, noting the fact that she is the head of the cheerleading club or did I forget to mention that? And when she turned her head to one corner, she saw one of the bitchiest groups in the school and the bonus part in this is that they're all obsessed with Natsume, all of them want to get into his pants. Just the thought of them finding out about him and Natsume and them throwing themselves to him makes her feel sick for her ex. Uh, talk about the ex.

She went towards her locker and all of a sudden smiled, Hotaru and Ruka were there, though Ruka, Natsume's ever best friend looked so exhausted as he leaned against the locker he gave her one weak smile, complementing his baggy cerulean eyes, he is Natsume's good version, minus the Raven hair and the crimson eyes and the bad boy look. His blonde hair was messy today, she noticed after he ran his hand through his hair.

"Will you stop staring at _my_ boyfriend?" and at that point Mikan snapped out of it and turned to her best friend she laughed shallowly and watched Ruka through the corner of her eyes, he turned pink, she and Ruka had some issues and those issues made him and Hotaru closer. Hotaru's amethyst eyes suddenly came into view as she turned and waved her hand in front of her rather defensively.

"No, Hota! All of a sudden your jealous, ne?" she laughed at her own joke as she opened her locker—or tried to for she forgot her combination. "e…"

"7-2-5-9." Hotaru offered, "you'd better tell me."

"And…" she glanced at her schedule and began taking her first period things, "I'd rather not talk about it right now." She slammed her locker door close and leaned against it too, "why don't you ask Ruka, I mean he knows already _we_—I mean Nat—_Hyuuga_ and I," she corrected herself, oh come on it's just a name! "Exchange only a couple of words and its _over_! Easy as that, so there are _no_ details whatsoever." She inhaled and closed her eyes, "that's all."

"And we almost though you're gonna kill yourself." Ruka muttered with a chuckle. She scowled.

"Ruka, I'm not emo! I can find another _man _and so can he!"

"Find another _man_?" Ruka attempted to make them laugh, Hotaru gave him a 'shut up' look which he understood.

"Not in the mood for that and just look I'm fully loaded so personally… I don't have time to deal with Natsume, since I have 2 make-up classes every week plus 3 exams to finish! Stupid conference." She muttered angrily.

"Well…I think you have to deal with your ex right _now_ if not later." Hotaru said with a nod, Ruka held her hand in his and attempted to pull her away, "No Nogi, I am gonna—" Ruka whispered something in her ear and she backed away. "We _aren't_ leaving." She snapped at Ruka, "don't worry I'm not gonna do anything to get your best friend injured."

"You're too violent Hotaru…" Mikan muttered, she was about to walk towards her class when Natsume leaned against the locker beside her. He greeted Hotaru, who didn't even acknowledge him the moment he arrived, and then Ruka who smiled, than to Mikan, She sighed and turned to him. "Good morning Natsume," she acted nonchalantly and smiled at him, he stared at her then nodded.

"Nobody knows yet?"

"Well, other than them, no one else. But I think it's about to come out too." She glanced around. "Listen gotta go, I'm gonna be late and so will you be. I'll—I'll see you around." And with a final wave, she walked out on him, for the second time around.

"Yeah, I'll see you around, we have the same class remember?" he called after her. She turned around to face him

"I'm afraid that's not gonna happen, lot's of catching up to do so basically, I won't be attending some of our classes—I mean the ones we are in together. So, bye." And she smiled once again.

He stared at her back, why… why is it so easy for her to act like it's just nothing? But he didn't know, it was just a façade she needs to keep up to. So that she could mask her hurt, pain and sacrifices.

**-O-**

**A/N: YEY! It's finished already! That's chapter two not long enough but probably its ok… ne? next update will be longer or juicer! Thank you! thank you to the first 25 reviewers, (only 25 reviewed anyways!) ESPECIALLY!:**

**cHiya-tSukAsa****- I read your story! I like it!!! Sorry I didn't leave a review but I will later! :D**

**Lost Wingz****-It wasn't much of an impact for me anyways, since it only reached up to 1 000 plus words. Anyways! Yeah why'd he break up with her right?**

**Ochibi-san117****-of course there'll be, I'm not that cruel so here it is!**

**jonah96- yeah I'll make them come back together, I promise that but not now—well not yet. **

**XxblackwingsxX****-just updated. **

**AnnaOj****- I edited it already.**

**kikyorules10****- that'll be my secret.**

**ToS-fanatic15****- that'll be my secret also.**

**tima9992003****- don't throw a tantrum yet.**

**Xxdarkness-angelxX**

**black neko hime**

**chris3169512****- we all know Mikan, she's very cheerful and very happy about anything that happens.**

**aegyo**

**The Solitude of Sayuri**

**mikanluchia728****-Thank you**

**IceGirl7**

**pLumBloSsoM07**

**valor of rose**

**GhUrLpLeAsE**

**Takaya-san****-I'll explain don't worry**

**ida sofie-thank you.**

**hime04****-you saved it? Oh my God! **

**pinkstarpatricia**

**Thank you so much!**

**Ja ne,**

**Suikashan.**


	3. Memory 3: Math book

**POKER FACE**

By: Suikashan

**Summary: "I… It's not you, it's me." He said eyes fixed on me. I laughed at him, "that line sucks Natsume, now tell me why. I'm not that stupid." He sighed, "You're too possessive, I can't stand it anymore." I smiled, "it's alright, and I'm letting you go."**

**A/N: I'm back, examinations are finally finished and I have all the time to use the computer—unless my grades go down this quarter, please pray for me. LOL. Last chapter was satisfying for me, basically at least we know why I entitled this Poker Face. If you still don't know why re-read my last chapter, ok? I'm so happy because I had 30 reviewers last time which is so great! Please ge me some more! LOL, why am I demanding so much?**

**Memory 3: math book  
**

**-O-**

Math. The subject Sakura Mikan loathed the most, not only because some theories and postulates are hard to understand and the way Pythagoras and other men solved unanswerable questions, she half wished that they never had the chance to solve or prove those things in her text book—speaking of her text book, she just found out that she can't find it. It wasn't in her bag, or in her locker.

"Well Miss Sakura?" and that's the other reason why she hated math, Jinno. Jinno is her teacher in math, the terror teacher, with round glasses, shallow cheek bones, deep brown hair parted in the middle, eyebrows that are always knitted together and never seemed to separate in all the years he taught In Gakuen Alice. "Are you going to stare at me all day and just ignore the fact that your text book isn't here."

She gulped loudly, loud enough for Jinno to hear, an invisible smirk made its way to his lips. "Umm… I might have left it in my place Jinno-sensei."

"Might _have_? I'm sorry Miss Sakura but I don't accept predictions." He drawled lazily, he gestured his hand towards his desk where a book was lying rigidly, Mikan gave him a look of innocence, "use it," he turned his back on her and walked towards a student whose face was crumpled in difficulty, "and by the way—detention later."

She gaped at him, "but sir! I have make up classes later!"

"Yeah? Well I will set you free in exchange of a week of detention." His eyes pierced through her and she shuddered, Jinno is a one word person, and she couldn't say anything to make him change his mind.

"Umm, yeah I'll just arrange that Jin-jin." His head snapped towards her and she shuddered once again, "I mean Jinno-sensei."

She grumpily made her way towards Jinno's desk and took the rather large book. She sighed; missing several classes in a week because of a seminar in another place had given her this kind of consequence—or was it just the book that she left? She shook her head in annoyance and made her way back to her desk.

"Finished?" Jinno called out, a few people answered back lazily. "Now we'll check." She rolled her eyes unconsciously; she wasn't able to answer that part yet.

**-O-**

"Well Mikan, things are spreading like _wild_ _fire_ in the school." Shouda Sumire said with a smirk plastered on her face, the three of them, Hotaru, Mikan and Sumire were seated together on the same table inside the dining hall. Mikan appeared to be dumb founded about Sumire's report.

"What did you just say?" she asked, pushing her hair away from her face as she snapped her book shut.

Sumire rolled her olive green eyes as she twirled her curled locks, "I said things are spreading like wild fire here in the school." She picked through her food waiting for Mikan's scream.

"What are spreading inside the school?" Hotaru rolled her eyes at Mikan then stared at Sumire and mouthed, 'what do you expect from a baka?'

"Mikan, are you pretending to be dumb? Have you forgotten that _mighty_ Hyuuga Natsume and you just broke up?" Sumire pointed her fork at Mikan who sighed deeply.

"What do you expect anyways? People will know no matter what… but," she raised her face to look at them, "who told _them_?"

Sumire shrugged nonchalantly while Hotaru shook her head, "I think if I'm gonna have a suspect, it'll be _Yome_…" Sumire turned her head towards a group of boys not far away from them—the soccer team; Natsume and Ruka were with him (Yome Kokoro or Koko for short ), they were sitting down together laughing probably at a stupid joke, Mikan's eyes immediately locked themselves on Natsume's face, just staring at him made her want to go and touch him, to just sit down beside him and talk things out, she was about to smile when instinctively or probably coincidentally, Natsume turned his head towards her direction, she almost jumped up in surprise, then Sumire waved her hand in front of her face.

"You alright Mikan?" she asked, eyebrows raised, Mikan laughed out at Sumire, "don't laugh like an idiot, you were staring blankly into space just awhile ago." She scolded.

"...or she was staring directly at Hyuuga," Hotaru offered, Mikan glared at Hotaru before taking a sip from her juice. Sumire gave Mikan a smile so wide as if asking her a question.

"Sumire, I'm not gonna repeat this again, I don't want you to ask me about anything that happened between Natsume and I…yesterday?" she asked herself with a pout, _did that really happen yesterday or was it just an imagination_, she thought deeply.

"Even your own break up you can't even keep in track." Hotaru pointed out. Mikan rolled her eyes.

"What do _you_ want me to _do_ Hotaru, _write_ that certain event on that specific date on my _calendar_? Is that like a—special date for me to cherish my whole life? Natsume—Natsume was the _best_ thing that happened to me, and yet he—he also became the _worst_ thing—that I've never wanted." She finished quietly. "I gotta go; I have special quizzes to attend to." She shoved her book back into her bag and stood up, not even bothering to say goodbye to them.

She can feel all their eyes stare at her as she passed by, was it really a big deal for everyone? Yes they were the perfect couple… still perfect people have flaws, imperfections and in their case Mikan was _possessive_, she laughed at her self, did she really order Natsume to just stay by her side all the time, was she really that possessive, she never dictated all the things Natsume was supposed to do… she never had.

She fled towards the comfort room located next to the dining hall. She threw her bag on the floor, turned the faucet on and splashed herself with water, last night's cry was enough, and would she want to cry once again? For God's sake, it was just Natsume; there are still a lot of guys in the world.

'_Natsume was the best thing that happened to me._' She stared at her reflection; true… he was the best thing… right now she would want to see someone who'll be able to beat Natsume.

She lazily picked up her bag and was about to walk out of the comfort room when it opened, a man—or a boy went inside and leaned against the door. She was staring at him, mouth agape. At the point when she considered screaming the boy's eyes opened themselves to look at her. He calmly swallowed and smiled.

She raised her eyebrow, "what are you doing here in the boy's comfort room?" he asked arrogantly, his voice was sing-song, his eyes, hidden behind his square rimmed eyeglasses, twinkled with mischievousness as he walked towards her.

"Maybe that's why you're wearing eyeglasses, you didn't read the sign outside did you?" she smirked at him.

"Oh… so that's why it's all pink in here." He mumbled to himself. He sheepishly smiled at her, "hey I know you," he pointed a finger at her.

"That's quite rude—boy." She countered back. He feigned shock at her.

"Hey kid you're supposed to call me senpai, I'm 18 years old already." He waved a finger at her before smiling, showing his perfect white teeth. "Sakura Mikan, right?"

She nodded. "Well… the bell rung awhile ago, I suggest that you stop crying and go to your classes already, _princess_." He raised his hand to salute her and ran outside before she can even say a word. She didn't cry anyways, why did he say that she should stop crying?

**-O-**

Mikan made her way to her class, avoiding anyone who would try to talk to her; she can hear the boys talk about her being single once again and there will be no dragon anymore guarding the princess. She ignored all of them, she wants to just shut her ears from all of their comments, all of their reactions and yet they continued to enter her head, never letting her rest. She shut her eyes close. She wants to escape to just forget… she wants to leave everything behind.

"Mikan?" she opened her eyes and saw once again, Sumire.

"P-Permy?"

Sumire rolled her eyes and took hold of her arm, dragging her into their class. "Stop calling me that, ok? Sumire snapped. Mikan nodded at her, "you ran out of the hall as if you've seen a ghost, don't you ever do that, it was so hard to look for you."

"Wait, wait, why the hell are you dragging me?"

"I need to tell you something…" she said seriously.

"Well what is it?" she asked agitatedly. Sumire swallowed hard and looked at her, "promise me you're not gonna scream."

Mikan nodded.

"Rumors said that… Natsume and Luna have been dating… while you were still in a relationship with him."

And with that Mikan thought everything went black, but she fought against it, she shook her head and gave Sumire a smile. "so what Sumire? Let them be. I don't care anymore."

"But…"

"Listen, Sumi, I don't wanna talk about it anymore, come on let's go take a seat." She smiled at Sumire as she pulled her, she thought Sumire was unaware of her sadness and yet… Sumire saw right through her.

**-O-**

She rummaged through her bookcases, trying to find her math book which up to now is still lost. She sighed to herself as she forced her brain to work, where on earth did she leave that stupid book? She sighed, and then slumped her back against the book case. Her apartment was unusually messy today, since she started to go through everything she owned when she arrived at home, two hours ago. Considering the matter hopeless, Mikan jumped up and started to tidy up her living room. Busy rearranging her books back in her book case her telephone began to ring, she gasped, and she forgot where the hell it was!

She ran throughout her apartment, going inside one room after the other, the phone was still ringing out loud. She pushed her bedroom door open and discovered the ruckus she created inside the room, some clothes were scattered on the bed. She moaned heavily—stupid math book. She threw all her clothes away, hearing the phone ring in the midst of the piled clothes; she groped through them until she managed to grab something hard and oblong. She happily squealed to herself. She was about to push the answer button when it stopped ringing. She gaped at the phone, she was close to answering it already!

She growled to herself and starter punching the answering machine code, it came from Hotaru.

'_Really, for an outburst like that, right now I'm worried about you, maybe I shouldn't have said that… that triggered you to just blow up in front of my face. But next time you do that, see to it no one sees you; you made an exit a while ago.' The line went silent, 'take care of yourself baka, I promised your mom I'll take care of you. G'night.' _

She smiled to herself that was the first time Hotaru said something nice to her. She dialed her number and left a message on her machine while she started to place everything back inside her cabinet. Hotaru can be nice sometimes anyways, depending on her mood. She can still remember the time when the two of them became best of friends—it was spring, April to be exact when cherry Blossoms filled the whole street and parks, the start of a new term as a 2nd grade pupil, Hotaru transferred herself in Gakuen Alice, and Mikan fell in love with her all of a sudden, after that the two of them were inseparable, wherever Hotaru'll be, Mikan'll be there too. She smiled to herself, the two of them have been together for a long time already, and maybe she should give Hotaru crab brains as a present tomorrow.

She just closed her door when the doorbell rang, "funny… Hota didn't say that she'll drop by today…" she muttered to herself before calling out 'coming' in the most cheerful voice she can, she was about to open the door when she noticed all the mess in her living room. She glanced at the door before saying, "umm… just a minute!" she hastily grabbed all the trash she can pick then place them in a place well hidden, the doorbell rang again, she concluded that the person behind the door has no patience. She grabbed the knob with a frown before getting the shock of her life—Hyuuga Natsume, whole and in person stood right in front of her, holding her math book as he slouched on her door frame, and she can't help but fall in love with him once again.

"N-Natsume… what are you…?" he raised her math book again before she understood. "I've been looking for that the whole day…" she mumbled to herself. She looked up to him, his ruby eyes piercing her amber ones. She smiled and took the book. "Thanks for bringing this back." She tugged on the book but he didn't let go.

She gave him an innocent look, "aren't you going to let me in?" he asked in a tired tone.

"Aren't you going to go out with your friends or—" she debated to herself if she's gonna say Luna's name or not. "Whatever?" she finished hopelessly.

"I don't have any plans tonight." He answered back, looking directly at her, she stared at him, why is he still behaving like this, they aren't together anymore… does he really think that they are still together? "Can I come in?" he asked.

Mikan nodded, unknown to her consciousness. "Ano… natsume, would you like to drink anything?"

He turned to look at her, "yeah… coffee please." She nodded and proceeded to the kitchen, "it's kinda messy there Natsume, umm… just push the stuff away if you want to." She heard his faint 'yeah' ring out through the room. She started to make his coffee; Natsume liked it black, with two sugar cubes. She wondered if Luna knows that. She frowned; she isn't supposed to think about that. She placed her hot chocolate and his coffee on a tray and went back to her living room; Natsume was flipping the pages of her math book.

She placed her mug on the coffee table and natsume took his. She sat down and smiled at him, "you wanna talk about something?"

He shook his head

"Is it true…" Natsume raised his eyebrows at her, "about Luna and you?" she asked nonchalantly as she stirred her hot chocolate, careful not to look at him.

He rested his arms on his knees, "yes…"

Mikan nodded at him, "how long?"

"Everything's just a rumor Mikan, I… Luna and I just got together today, people just—"

"Don't worry Natsume," she waved he hand dismissively. "I understand."

"That's what I hate about you… you always understand." He said. Mikan looked at him. "You never argued with me."

She smiled at him, "I need to understand."

"But not all the time." He said to her. He sipped his coffee, just the way he wants it, he thought to himself. Mikan just stared at him. Uneasiness filled her, she knows that Natsume was hiding something, but she isn't the nosy type who would ask him continuously. At the time when they contemplated Natsume's phone rang. He picked it up and answered, "Aoi? What? Oh… ok, I'll pick you up." Mikan gave him a look of confusion.

"Aoi's here? I thought she's gonna come back next month." Natsume turned towards her.

"Yeah I thought so too." He sighed, "Probably she needs something from mom again." He stared at her placed his coffee back, he opened his mouth about to say something but then stopped himself.

"Say 'hi' to her from me." She said. He nodded and stared at her again. "What's wrong?"

"nothing." He said, "I—I… I'm sorry." She looked at him, shock filled her face, "for everything… that I can't be… someone who'll take care of you… I'm sorry." He leaned towards her and planted a kiss on her forehead. When his lips left that part it burned. The feeling was still there. She looked at him, unable to speak, she has a lot of questions but it never came out, he didn't wait for her response anymore.

"I got to go Mikan, good night." He placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezed and stood up. She looked at him, eyes sparkling with happiness, (or so, Natsume thought.) "Take care of yourself." She nodded her head and said the same thing back at him; he gave her a smile, a smile she rarely saw whenever they were together. Maybe… maybe Luna was the reason of his smile, a true smile. "Take care too…" he walked towards the door, turned his head to look at her for one last time, she waved her hand, giving him a beautiful smile. And now Natsume… I've decided to let you go.

"Good night Natsume…" she said as she heard her door click close. She laid her head on her knees as she closed her eyes and prepared herself to cry once more.

_I've decided to set you free, but why… why am I still crying about you, why?_

**-O-**

**A/N: Another chapter done! Yosh! I feel so great after finishing it once again; next update'll be he is my master! So wait for it!**

**Thank you reviewers:**

**thundra18****-I'm bound to make Natsume jealous but not now at the very least.**

**Ochibi-san117****-here's chapter three! ******** Did you enjoy it?**

**tima9992003****-what are those anime? I wanna know!!! Give me the summaries, ok?**

**little silent angel.****-are you hitomi-chan? Did you change your pen name?**

**chrisca123456789****-well Natsume's gotta do that.**

**ToS-fanatic15****-you didn't understand it? Mainly it was just a flashback.**

**huyutfsakura****- thanks**

**Xxdarkness-angelxX****-it's for me to know and for you to find out.**

**GhUrLpLeAsE****- there'll be no RUKAMIKAN moment here, that's just too outrageous.**

**AnnaOj****- it's supposed to be short baka, ******** again many typos, poor Bangee.**

**mahi101****- thanks.**

**The Solitude of Sayuri****- yeah you're right about that.**

**pinkstarpatricia****- Mikan will be able to keep her poker face don't worry.**

**pLumBloSsoM07****- sooner? Sorry I can't promise that.**

**saline gelu****- thanks.**

**Lost Wingz****- here's the new chapter.**

**Candice- here's the update.**

**riskydenial****- thanks.**

**kikyorules10****- there'll be someone mysterious enough.**

**jazziscool****- thanks.**

**chris3169512****- Mikan will never commit suicide! LOL**

**Takaya-san****- Thanks.**

**niceladysakura****- I do hope Hotaru'll kill him one day.**

**Sweetcheeks3662****- no painful past.**

**keaRy anCe****- now I've updated.**

**XxblackwingsxX****- thanks for reviewing.**

**Chocolatexpudding****- thanks for the cookies.**

**kurichan15****- thank you.**

**LIve for you- thank you.**

**Tiffyxobtg- thank you.**

**-=reality=-**

**If you are reading this I would really love to see your reply, i just read the review that you gave me in he is my master and to tell you the truth when i read your review, I was slightly offended. true enough i have made mistakes, and I know that what you've sent me was a flame and since--since there is no way for me to give you a review reply I thought that this is the only way I can give you my opinion in what you've given me. **

**And hey listen, even you have a problem in your grammar, not that I'm being very rude but I'm just telling the truth and this is reality, if you're gonna flame me might as well as type it in Filipino than use English if you can't use it properly. No one's perfect may I just remind you, but anyways, thank you for pointing out my flaws, don't worry I won't use those words ever again. Thank you for your review. Sorry if you read this in my other story but this one just got updated and I really don't want to add another author's note in he is my master, so sorry If you saw this here.  
**

**Ja,**

**Suikashan**


	4. Memory 4: Car ride

**Poker Face**

**By: Suikashan**

**A/N: I know it has been awhile, I would like to express my apologies to those people ho have waited for a log time for my update, it's just that I've been so busy at school that's why I don't have time for this. :) sorry if I don't give review replies, I really appreciate all those reviews. Thanks again.**

**Anyways, let's start.**

**Memory 4: Car Ride**

**-O-**

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap—

"Cut it out already!" Sumire exclaimed as she slammed her fist on the table, the source of her irritation was Mikan, who immediately looked at her with annoyance. "It's driving me insane Mikan, you have constantly tapped that stupid _thing_—"she pointed accusingly at the pen she is holding, "for an hour already, can you _please_ stop? Mid term exams are coming and I _surely_ don't want to flunk my Chemistry, surely you need to study for math, right?" she gave her a pleading look, then noticing that Mikan didn't say anything she proceeded back into reading.

"You aren't talking Mikan—it's kinda weird." Sumire murmured, her pen continuously ran through the book. "What's with you?"

Mikan stared at Sumire, smiled and took her book, "I'm just—you know, reminiscing perhaps."

"Oh," sighed Sumire, "Natsume."

Mikan nodded, her thoughts went back to the time when he would be there to teach her things that she didn't understand—mostly her A grades were from Natsume, he would always be there, he would always be—

Not.

She released a sigh and closed her eyes, she waited for Sumire's remark but it didn't come. Instead she heard her stuff all her things back into her mailman's bag.

"You finished Sumire?" Sumire was staring at her phone but then looked up to answer Mikan's question

"Yeah, Yome wants to meet up with me." She snapped her phone shut and stood up, "this better be good." She mumbled

Mikan gave her a sly grin, "Koko?"

Sumire's eyes narrowed at Mikan, "I don't like what you're thinking Sakura Mikan."

"Why?" Mikan asked innocently, "what was I thinking?"

"Forget it—I don't want you annoying me right now, I wouldn't be able to give you a lift home—"

"Whoa, whoa, does that mean that you're ditching me for Koko?" she exclaimed, "I'm your _BFF_!"

Sumire rolled her eyes at her, "Look, Hotaru or Ruka could give you a ride, I have to go." Sumire made her way towards the large doors leading to the hallway leaving Mikan sitting by the table, gawking at her so called best friend.

**-O-**

Great, just great, Mikan found out that Hotaru is needed by the student council president, bless Yuu but she also needed Hotaru desperately at this moment, If her car didn't break down last week surely she would not need her friends right now. So after the door was shut in front of her face by the other council member she forcefully made her way to the field where Ruka would be practicing for their next game—surely Natsume would be there.

Natsume.

Her heart started to beat wildly, she could feel it hit her ribcage over and over, she stopped dead in her tracks as she held her chest, she feared getting near to Natsume, he still had the same effect on her—he could still make her nervous, sweating, scared and he could still make her fall in love with him. She never had that effect on Natsume, whenever she sees him nowadays, she would always be ignored—like she never existed, he would look past her hand in hand with Luna, his new girlfriend.

Mikan opened her eyes and laughed bitterly, the image flashed right before her eyes again—that happy face of Luna while she held Natsume's hand, it was like she is parading a new trophy around the school and when they met each other in one of the hallways, she gave one of those 'mine' looks before entering the Lab. It broke Mikan's heart, It made her stop dead in her walk, people whispered around her, but her ears blocked everything out, she couldn't breathe—she couldn't—

"Mikan?" a voice pulled her out of her thoughts; she opened her eyes and saw Ruka, "are you alright? You look pale." Her touched her forehead hurriedly and his expression changed, "you're so cold, did you eat peaches again?" Mikan stared at Ruka, she tried to speak but couldn't, what the heck is wrong with her? She thought. She gripped hard on Ruka's wet shirt before cringing; his shirt is full of sweat.

Ruka laughed loudly, most of the soccer players are already filing inside the hallway, all of them are going to shower themselves after a long day, they caught sight of Ruka and Mikan, after giving them looks of surprise they continued walking.

"I went to Hotaru—you see Sumire ditched me for Koko so I have no one to give me a ride home."

"So that's why he missed practice." Ruka pondered, he urged Mikan to go on.

"Well Hotaru is busy so I'm left to ask you for a ride but--I was afraid…" she muttered the last part quietly, Ruka had to bend down to hear the last part.

"Why are you afraid?" Ruka asked, "You can ask me a favor."

"But I'm not used to that!" she exclaimed loudly, "I mean—I'm, hesitant to approach you."

"Jesus, Mikan! I'm your friend you can come to me." He smiled at her then raised his arm to wave at some of the guys at the end of the hallway, "listen wait for me by the parking Lot, I'll give you a ride home."

Mikan brightened immediately and was about to wrap her arms around him when she realized that he is wet. "Thanks Ruka! You're such a lifesaver!"

"welcome." He turned on his heel and made his way to the locker room.

**-O-**

She happily made her way towards the parking lot, Ruka is so kind to her—no wonder Hotaru fell in love with him. She grabbed her phone and started typing a message for Sumire when she heard footsteps behind her, she turned around and saw him—Natsume.

He seemed surprised when he saw her look at him, he was already making his way towards his car when he saw her and decided to follow her, he saw earlier that day that she didn't bring her car with her, so why on earth is she walking through the parking lot? He raised his eyebrow skeptically while walking towards her.

"what are you doing here?" he asked.

Mikan gaped at him, "walking?"

"you don't have your car with you, so why on earth are you her in the parking lot?" he pried a bit more.

Mikan stared at him with a frown, "how did you know that—"

"Never mind that." He cut off. "Why?"

"I don't see why I have to explain anything to you."

"Just answer the question, dammit."

Why do you care? She would like to ask but instead she released a sigh. "I'm here for a ride."

"With?"

"Oh just shut up will you?!" she glared at him, "why would you like to know?"

"So that I'll know who to call if you end up dead tomorrow!" he snapped.

"You expect me to be dead tomorrow?" she bit out harshly.

"That's not what I meant—" he pinched the bridge of his nose, Mikan knows that he does that when she is annoying him. He suddenly stared at her and grabbed her arm.

"Hey! What the heck are you doing?!" she yanked her arm free from his grasp and took several steps away from him. He looked at her tiredly.

"I'm taking you home." He stated matter of fact.

Mikan stared at him but before she could open her mouth to say something, another hand grabbed her arm. She turned around and saw Ruka's smiling face, he is smiling directly at Natsume.

"You don't need to Natsume, I'm taking her home. See you later." He waved at him before dragging Mikan away, leaving Natsume staring at their backs.

'_I still want to take you home… Mikan.'_

**-O-**

**A/N: care to give me a review? Thanks! See you soon. **

**Suikashan.**


	5. memory 5: under the Sakura Tree

**POKER FACE**

by: Suikashan

**Summary: "I… It's not you, it's me." He said eyes fixed on me. I laughed at him, "that line sucks Natsume, now tell me why. I'm not that stupid." He sighed, "You're too possessive, I can't stand it anymore." I smiled, "it's alright, and I'm letting you go."**

**A/N: preliminary exams are over, and now I am updating once again. (did you notice that i always update after my exams?) thank you to all the people who gave me reviews last chapter, I was so thrilled to see that there were 30 plus additonal reviews given to me. **

**to tell you the truth, the last chapter for me was not that satisfying, it was actually so random. I'm sorry for that-that's why I'm going to make it up to all of you.**

**let it start.**

**Memory 5: Under the Sakura Tree**

**-O-**

"Boring." Koko's voice vibrated throughout the whole classroom making Mikan stare at him with her narrowed amber eyes. "what? I'm just stating the obvious."

"Stating the obvious doesn't change anything; do me a favor and go to the rooftop and throw yourself down." Mikan spat out, she had been stuck with Koko for about an hour now since Sumire was out, busy organizing the whole program for the festival. That's what she hates about Sumire: whenever it's the start of the annual school festival, she would become a hyperactive part of the whole student council thus leaving her social life and becoming a full time event's organizer. Oh, and one more thing she hates about Sumire: Sumire continuously nags her for not helping them, after all she is one of the officers.

"Is it that time of the month?" Koko mocked a smug smile appearing o his face, and before he could even apologize she already thwacked him on the head with her phone. A loud cry of pain was released from his mouth.

"Yes, it is that time of the month." She replied nonchalantly, she peered outside the window and watched the clouds move lazily through the clear blue sky. Sometimes Mikan wondered what will happen if the earth stops rotating, when time would stop, when she would just sit under a Sakura tree and close her eyes to relax and to dream, to feel happiness inside her and then open her eyes—to see Natsume there…

_Natsume…_

"Mikan." Koko called out in an annoyed tone, breaking Mikan out of her thoughts, "Eh, what's with your eyes? They're misty all of a sudden."

"Nonsense Koko." She said pushing herself up all of a sudden, "I'm going out for a walk."

"Can I come with you Mi-chan? It's so boring here." He pleaded, his puppy eyes in action.

"God Koko, you look stupid! wipe that stupid expression off your face!" she turned away from him and walked out of the room.

**-O-**

The Sakura tree stood greatly in the midst of all the other trees present in the school garden, it was a hundred year old tree, according to their principal. From the rooftop you would be able to see it without a doubt, for even if it isn't spring Sakura flowers were blooming making it look so beautiful and magical. It was a sight to behold for the girls who often dreamed to be kissed under the tree, as if there is a belief that every couple who would kiss underneath it would stay together forever.

Mikan was a believer of that belief before, she would talk nonstop about being kissed underneath that, to Hotaru, to Sumire and to even her male friends. She dreamed to be kissed by her first ever boyfriend under that tree, and it happened—almost two months ago, She and Natsume became a couple because of her mother's fault, (Yuka had been constantly nagging Mikan to find herself a boyfriend) through Imai Hotaru whose boyfriend (Ruka) is Natsume's bestfriend.

But then again, Mikan's first kiss didn't happen under the Sakura tree…

"_Okay, I know this is not what you've been told Hyuuga-san but you need to do this, if not for me then for Ruka." Mikan called out to Natsume, who recently came to Japan after studying__ overseas for a decade or so. Natsume raised his eyebrow at Mikan and stayed rooted to the spot. "hey, stop wasting time we need to get there in fifteen minutes." She walked towards him and yanked him by the arm, pointing at the school's cafeteria,exclaiming all her thoughts and worries about what will happen afterwards. _

"_you know," Natsume started to speak, making Mikan stop yanking him, she gaped at him and muttered a 'huh.' "if you are going to have a boyfriend I'm prepared to bet that the two of you will break up exactly the next day, not in person but he'll use his phone."_

_Her face turned deep red due to anger as she curled up her fists, withdrawing them around his arm. "what is that supposed to mean? That no one would ever want to be my boyfriend?"_

_He scoffed and made his way to the other side of the sidewalk, "your words, not mine."_

"_Y-You…" she pointed a finger at him, "You are __**so**__ indespicable Hyuuga! Uggh! If you'll have a girlfriend I swear she would break up with you because you act so cold towards her."_

_Natsume stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head towards her, a naughty smile appearing on his lips. "you pepared to bet on that?" _

"_Maybe not…" she placed a finger on her temple, "maybe your girlfriend will break up with you because you're a playboy." She murmured to herself._

"_you were saying?" _

"_Huh?" she glanced up to see him right in front of her, barely an inch away, "what the fuck? Please keep your face away from mine!" she shoved him out of the way, turing beet red once again._

"_you've never been kissed?"_

"_why are you all of a sudden asking that?" she snapped._

_He shrugged at her. "your reaction. When my face was so close you pushed me."_

"_well so what. Hurry up! My mom will kill me, we need to straighten things out too, I need to know your favorite fruit, color, food…" Mikan continued to babble finally bei__ng able to pull Natsume._

"_did you even realize that if I am going to be your boyfriend I'll be able to kiss you?"_

"_You are __**not**__ gonna do that Hyuuga," She rolled her eyes, "we just need to act sweet in front of my mom but after that when she's gone we'll act normally—__**meaning**__ you are going to stay away from me as I do the same."_

"_Tch. You're going to be a boring girlfriend."_

"_we are __**not**__ gonna be a real boyfriend girlfriend Hyuuga. After this event we'll both go on separate ways."_

"_funny I was hoping this would be real." _

_She rolled her eyes once again as she pulled the seatbelt over her chest. "dream on, I'm not going to be in a relationship with you."_

"_yeah,right."_

_So far Natsume's encounter with __Yuka went on smoothly (to Mikan's disgust), her mom obviously adored Natsume completely and deciced to call his parents for their wedding, earning a snort from the two of them. Natsume answered all of her questions promptly, not missing a single detail at all. It almost looked like a quiz show, in Mikan's opinion. _

"_aah, the two of you look so cute, maybe in the near future my grandchildren will look just like the two of you." Yuka gushed loudly. Her eyes twinkled with so much happiness._

"_mom," Mikan set her teacup down on the table with a loud clatter, "you really shouldn't expect that much, he and I are __**just**__ dating, we wouldn't end up in a church and most of all with—babies."_

"_you aren't going to kiss Mikan-chan 'goodbye,' Natsume kun?" __ Mikan gave her mom a 'don't' look._

_Natsume smirked inwardly before glancing at Mikan with an 'I-told-you-so' look. "of course, I would __**love**__ to."_

_Her arm reflexively moved in between them, "Mom, he __**really**__ needs to go, right?"_

"_it will only take a moment to kiss you." He answered back, completely ignoring her look of annoyance._

"_a moment is like one minute and a half, surely—" Natsume leaned in, holding her cheek firmly in place as he pressed his lips on top of hers, it was definetely a good thing that her back is facing her mom because of her wide eyed reaction in what he did. It was just a soft peck, it didn't involve any feelings but then there's one thing she realized…_

this bastard is my first kiss.

_She blinked twice and then Natsume released her. He flashed her mom a smile before staring at her downcast face. _

"_excuse me mom, I'll be back in a moment." She fled, first thinking that she should go to the washroom and cry her eyes out, and then thought of going to the Sakura tree, to cry her dreams out._

"_Sakura!"_

_O__kay, now she is being bothered by Hyuuga, if she could just throw her sandals at him. "Sakura!"_

"_Okay, I would really, __**really**__ appreciate it if you leave me alone—as in right now." She went out of the door and started to wander to the garden._

"_hey, what's the matter with you? It's just a freaking kiss!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms open, "it doesn't really mean a thing!"_

"_you don't freaking understand! That was not supposed to happen! Not with you! Not there! Not in front of my mom!" she wailed loudly at him, hurriedly taking two steps at a time trying as much as possible to stay away from him, not even realizing that she was already going deeper into the garden, only to be followed by him._

"_you're overacting."_

"_I am not." She screamed at him, tears blurred her vision, she whipped her arm towards her face and wiped her tears away. "my first kiss was supposed to be __**special**__, underneath __**this **__Sakura tree. But then __**you**__ came along and __**stole**__ it—of course you don't care about it since you've had a lot of freaking experiences with—" the next thing she knew was being pulled into his embrace "Hyuuga what the-?"_

"_you want your kiss to happen under this tree right?"_

"_yeah but—wait!" all of a sudden Natsume's lips were on hers, her arms dropped down, _this was so uncalled for, so unexpected_. She thought. She couldn't help but feel that this kiss was so soft—too soft for Natsume, in Mikan's opinion. His lips shifted against hers coaxing her to respond. She wasn't supposed to—but she wants to, and so she did._

_Her second kiss happened under the Sakura tree__ and it was unexpected._

Underneath the Sakura tree, Mikan opened her eyes and a smile made its way to her lips, too many memories—her mother shouldn't have expected so much, Mikan was right. It wouldn't happen, it would end up early, it wouldn't last for so long. It wasn't true. It will never be true. They were sweet but painful, and yet she always thinks about it. She raised her glance up, momentarily relishing the coolness underneath the Sakura tree and the shade it gave her_. If only Natsume's here_, just thinking about Natsume's name made the petals go down and float around her. She laughed bitterly. "thank you so much Sakura tree. For making me feel happiness even if it's only for a short time—even though it is just fleeting, even if it was not really real."

**-O-**

"Art exhibit?" Hotaru mockingly stated while holding the ticket in her hands. She turned to Ruka, "do you honestly think that I would waste rabbits in this—nothingness?"

"um, I thought you'll do it for me." He said sheepishly. Both Mikan and Sumire rolled their eyes at the couple.

"wanna get a room? Private rooms are upstairs, 2-1." Sumire snapped, "if the two of you are just going to—"

"stop being jealous permy, if you're looking for Yome go now." Hotaru snapped hotly.

"Hey I didn't-!"

"Okay guys, Cool it," Mikan interjected. "If you don't want to look at the exhibit I would love to go!" she looked at Ruka with twinkling eyes.

"great." Ruka immediately took Mikan's arm and began to talk about the exhibit.

"well," Sumire turned to Hotaru, "there goes yor boyfriend with your bestfriend off to the sunset."

"I trust them Sumire." Hotaru shrugged and followed the two of them, not even once thinking about what Sumire said.

Moving around the exhibit made Mikan jumpy, she rarely saw art pieces, since her mom never liked those artworks, looking through one painting to another, most of the paintings she is seeing are made by some of the famous students in the academy.

"hey Mikan, I'm just going to check out the sculptures over there." Ruka pointed out to one of the sections they just passed. Mikan nodded at him and stared at the sculpures Ruka is interested at—Animals of all kinds. She forced a giggle out as she proceeded to another section called 'tranquility.'

The walls were painted green inside the section, Mikan smiled, it forced her to relax all of a sudden. A beatiful painting of a child playing with water caught her attention. She immediately stood in front of it and examined it. It was painted a year ago, by a senior that Mikan knows, she didn't even know that that guy paints. It was beautiful—it gave an illusion that the water moved through the child's fingers as he tried to get a shelll.

"he looks so focused in getting the shell." She murmured.

"Natsume-kun! Maybe we should visit the other section this is so boring." The shrill voice of Koizumi Luna echoed to the section Mikan is in, she quickly tried to get away from the door, she's afraid that the two of them would see her. She doesn't want to see them again-especially if they're together. It was just so painful. In a hurry Mikan almost stumbled she grabbed hold of a pillar and steadied herself. The moment she glanced up she saw the most beautiful and majestically painted painting in the section—

It was her and Natsume underneath the Sakura tree. They were sitting underneath it, Mikan's laughing face facing him as he annoyingly pushed her hand away but with that secret smile of his etched on his lips. her eyes misted immediately, it was a memory, one of the memories she would love to to revisit over and over again. She reached a hand to touch it, to feel even just a while. To feel the feeling that she felt when it was still like that—when nothing mattered, when time would stop and she would be under the tree together with Natsume.

Hibino Kanata, the name of the artist was there. She wanted to buy this and she will, later during the auction.

"Mikan?" Ruka called out to her, "what is that?" he asked momentarily stopping in front of the painting, "it's—you and Natsume." He murmured.

"yeah…" she smiled, "I'm going to buy it later. Come with me Ruka later and I want to meet him too."

"if that's what you want, fine by me. But don't let Hotaru see this, she'll burn this once she finds out."

"course not."

"Are you Hibino-san?" Mikan casually asked the guy right in front of her, he was the guy who she met inside the Girl's washroom last week, if her memory serves her right, the guy in the washroom and he look alike, same square rimmed eyeglass, pointed cheeks, red lips and bedhair colored blue. "You're the guy from—"

he immediately covered her mouth, "woah woah, really I would appreciate it if you would not say that." He gave her a wide smile, "yep, I'm Hibino-san what could I o for you Sakura?"

"it's about the painting in the tranquility section…" she lost her voice all of a sudden. "when did you paint that?"

"oh," he said, "that. Well I took a picture, sorry about that. And then painted it, it was about a month ago when I took that picture. Do you like it? I'm sure you'd buy that."

"yes, I was planning to buy that." She said, "thank you by the way for painting that. It was so beatiful—it brings back good memories."

"yeah, hey listen, you shouldn't dwell on the past so much. Move on little girl, okay?" he ruffled her hair and made his way through the crowd. "see you around." He waved at her and she waved back.

After meeting up with Hotaru and Sumire in the hall, Mikan went back to the tranquility section together with Ruka. She even thought of where she would hang the painting, inside her bedroom by the window. she went through all the paintings that were there only to find out that the painting is no longer there, instead it was just an empty space.

"it can't be…" she ran towards the front desk and approached a woman.

"Excuse me miss, I'm looking for a painting made by Hibino-san in the tranquility section, did anyone buy it already?" she asked aggitatedly, she was hoping that no one bought it, she wanted it so bad. Needed it so bad.

The woman stared at the record in the computer before shaking her head, "there is no record here that it was bought by a person, surely you could choose something else."

"no, no thanks." She said, turning away almost dissapointedly. Ruka caught her expression and took her arm, "it's alright Mikan."

"It was supposed to bet here! Where the hell is it? Who would buy it, surely-?" she glanced at Ruka who stared at her in confusion, "did he buy it?"

Ruka shrugged at her. "I don't know Mikan. I don't know."

**-O-**

A/N: the kiss in the flashback was so boring I'm sorry for that I didn't want it to be so detailed since it was just her second kiss. Anyways, another chapter is done! Please don't forget to leave a review! Thanks!

Ja.

suikashan


	6. Memory 6: wounds

**POKER FACE**

by: Suikashan

**Summary: "I… It's not you, it's me." He said eyes fixed on me. I laughed at him, "that line sucks Natsume, now tell me why. I'm not that stupid." He sighed, "You're too possessive, I can't stand it anymore." I smiled, "it's alright, and I'm letting you go."**

**A/N: hey everyone, first of all I would like to thank all of you for still reading this piece of shit (because I update ever so slowly, and I'm not that exceptional in making stories.) and for also leaving reviews. My aim in each chapter is to have at least 30 reviews so, thank you, thank you, thank you. So now I hope you would enjoy this beautiful chapter!**

**By the way I updated this week because of archdemonlord, if anyone knows this wonderful writer raise his/ her hand up. I wanted to update because her last chapter is so depressing. So I diverted my attention to my story. **

**let it start.**

**Memory 6: wounds**

**-O-**

"Mom, why the hell do you need to shout at me?" Mikan exclaimed loudly as she held the phone in her right hand and her mug of coffee in her left. A wake up call from her mother is something she didn't expect. After answering the phone, all Mikan could do was to grab herself a mug of coffee and listen to her mother bicker at the end of the line.

'_why didn't you tell me that you and Natsume-kun broke up ages ago?'_ Yuka wailed at the end of the line.

"Mom, I'm too busy to call you or update you with my life—besides, it wasn't really a big thing at all—"

'_**wasn't**__ a big thing? When you and Natsume were together, you updated me every single week.'_

"look mom—" Mikan sighed, " I really don't want to talk about Natsume, have you ever thought that I may not want to talk about it at all? I'm still in the 'grieving period.'"

'_Oh, yeah. I kinda forgot about that part. Well, I'm sorry that the two of you broke up, I am sure that Kaoru is so frustrated about this too. The two __of you were __**such**__ a cute couple.'_

Mikan halted her steps, Kaoru—aunt Kaoru who was so ecstatic when she found out that the two of them started dating and treated her as her own daughter. Aunt Kaoru who immediately texted her after finding out from Natsume that they broke up. Aunt Kaoru who was so perfect to be her mother-in-law…

Mikan blinked twice, did she just think that?

'Mikan are you still there or are you blocking me out of your system?'

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm still here. Hey, listen mom I need to go, I'm going to be—"

'_Late. Okay, don't go drowning yourself in your tears honey, Love you.'_

"Love you too." She mumbled, _I'm not going to drown myself mom, been there, done that_. She put the phone down and proceeded to her bathroom.

**-O-**

Being late is _hell_. Hell, because in her school gates shut down at exactly eight o' clock in the morning. And right now, Mikan is begging God to let her arrive on time. She glanced at her watch by the corner of her eye. Seven fifty, oh damn. "God, don't let me be late this time." Other that gates closing, there are still some dark creatures lurking behind the gates—first: gossiping girls scattered around the campus, monitoring her every move. Second: Luna Koizumi, other than being a boyfriend snatcher, she is one mean bitch. And she is followed by her minions and have a habit of glaring daggers at Mikan. _All the time_. If you think Luna is the worst thing you can ever cross inside the Academy, well you're _wrong_. Hell wrong.

The third and last person you wouldn't want to see is none other than—

Jinno-Sensei.

"well, looks like you have another seat taken in my detention this afternoon miss Sakura." Cold dark brown eyes met Mikan's fearful ones as she went inside the room. She bowed down and mumbled an apology. "do you want me to reserve you a seat from now on?"

Few people sniggered in the class, everyone knows that Mikan and Jinno came from opposite poles. Ever since the start of classs, Mikan has been Jinno's favorite.

Favorite to torture.

"thanks, but no thanks Jinno-sensei, I can get a seat on my own."

"Well don't just stand there, get to your seat so we can start." Mikan grudgingly made her way to her seat. Hotaru rolled her eyes at her and mouthed 'idiot' as she passed by. She glanced at the seat next to her. It was empty. It was Natsume's chair. No one minded it since everone knows that he likes to skip classes. Especially math. Being a genius and all.

"turn your books to page 159… we're going to talk about Cramer's Rule, who knows something about Cramer's rule…?"

She shut Jinno's voice out while lazily turning the pages of her book. Math isn't her favorite subject. It has never been, she strives so hard to gain a B mark in Math. But with Natsume's help she manages to get at least an A-. she randomly flipped the page and to her surprise saw a folded paper inserted between two pages. Funny, she didn't notice it before. She opened it quickly and saw Natsume's handwriting in the paper.

"Sakura!"

Mikan jolted immediately, knocking her book to the floor. She reached out for it but never managed to for Natsume (she didn't notice that he was there already) picked it up for her.

"Now if you are finished gawking at Hyuuga, answer my question… in order to find Y in this equation what would you do?" he pointed the eqaution written on the board.

"umm—I, ah…" she racked her brains, she used Cramer's rule before but right now she couldn't put a finger on what to do. She clenched her fist. She blinked and glanced at her hand. What's in her hand?

The paper.

Foolishly thinking that it contains the answer to the question, she opened it and read:

"Substitute every constant in each equation in the Y column, multiply, subtract and divide the answer by the discriminant." She glanced at Jinno and raised her eyebrows approivingly.

(A/N:Cramer's Rule- it's much easier to understand if you can see it being solved. I can't explain it in written form. And besides I suck at math so I can't explain it well. Sorry math geniuses who are reading.)

"well, I didn't expect that you would know, Sakura. Take your seat." She stared at the paper some more. She realized that it was written ages ago when Natsume tutored her. She was so grateful for this paper. At least Natsume managed to save her ass from Jinno's wrath. She glanced at him. Exactly at the same time Natsume glanced at her.

"what?" he growled.

She shook her head and smiled at him, "thanks."

"for what?"

"for saving me."

He gave her a confused look. "what are you talking about?"

She didn't answer anymore. She buried herself in her book.

**-O-**

Raiding Sumire's fridge is one of Mikan's favorite hobbies. Sumire's fridge contained everything a person avoiding a diet would want. From cakes to cupcakes, to donuts, to chinsese take outs and toice cream. Mikan is surprised that Sumire can still keep her figure amidst all the temptations inside the fridge. Deciding to take the fresh pint of ice cream, she giddlymade her way to Sumire's couch. Sumire rolled her eyes at Mikan as she plopped herself beside her.

"because you're broken hearted, I'm allowing you to have my ice cream."

Mikan giggled at her, "I knew that being heart broken has some advanatges."

Sumire glared at her, "where's my spoon?"

Mikan gaped at Sumire a spoonful of ice cream inside her mouth, "chu-ry Chumre, arm-mo ged ju won." Sumire took the spoon out of her mouth and grabbed the pint out of Mikan's hands earning a loud 'hey' from Mikan.

"don't talk when your mouth is full, you idiot." she said, "now go get a spoon for me." She motioned Mikan to leave as she started eating.

"Hey Sumire," Mikan called out from the kitchen, she opened one of the drawers and took a spoon.

"what?"

Mikan stopped walking and debated if she's going to ask Sumire anything about Natsume. "Uh… nothing. Nevermind."

"If you're going to ask me if I know something—" Sumire turned to look at Mikan as she went back. "Koko didn't—well, he didn't share anything about Natsume." Sumire narrowed her eyes. "like what do you think of Koko? That he's one nosy person?"

Mikan threw a pillow at Sumire, "I don't think of Koko that way. I mean, I was never close to Ruka so I don't want to ask him about that…so I thought of Koko."

"when will you be over him Mikan?" Sumire muttered, Mikan stared at Sumire and laughed.

"I don't know—only time can tell."

"You know Mikan—love is not measured by holding on," Sumire took a deep breath, "sometimes you just have to let go."

"_Let_ _go_? I already did Sumire. I already did but I just can't fight off the feeling everytime he's there,there are too many memories—Natsume gave me too much to let him go easily. I can't just wake up the next day and forget about him—all I can do is to pretend, to pretend that everything's alright. To pretend that nothing hurts. Do you know how hard it is for me to look at him as he passes by and he would never look at me? Do you know how it feels to see him with her? What I'm experiencing is bull shit! I don't want this anymore. _No_ _one_ would want this."

Sumire lowered her gaze, compared to the feeling that Sumire felt long ago, Mikan's pain is too much. It was something that can't be thrown away the next day. It's not easy to let go. It has never been and it will never be.

She smiled, "I envy you Sumire, when Natsume turned you down years ago, you accepted it and learned to let go." She took one pillow and burried her face in it. "I wish I am like you."

"It's not easy Mikan—I loved Natsume ever since I was a little girl. For me, it took a lot of strength to let go of the person I loved."

The noise of the television surrounded the whole place, for a moment the two of them didn't speak, too caught up in their own thoughts and emotions whirling inside.

"How… How did you do it?" Mikan asked after a moment. Sumire looked at Mikan, "How did you do it Sumire?" Mikan grabbed Sumire's hands and stared at her with seriousness. "_teach_ me."

Sumire's olive eyes widened, "I-I," Sumire laughed, "this is crazy Mikan! How do you expect me to—"

"please Sumire, I'm begging you." She closed her eyes, "right now you're the only one who can understand." She tightened her hold, "please."

Sumire closed her eyes and squeezed Mikan's hand back. "fine… fine. I'll teach you." The moment Sumire's eyes opened, determination was finally seen.

**-O-**

Hibino Kanata loves to stay inside the wide space of the art gallery, after all he is an artist and he needs complete silence in order to finish a masterpiece. Right now his masterpiece involves a tree—blown by the wind. It was hard to paint, mainly because the leaves are moving and he chose a mahogany tree. He frowned deeply. His painting looks dead right now.

The door opened startling him—he isn't expecting any visitor at this time; and he sisn;t expect to see Sakura Mikan by the door. The corners of his lips curved.

"what are you doing here? I'm not expecting someone like you to be here. You need something?"

Mikan smiled at him and stopped by an abstract sculpture. "I didn't manage to buy the painting—so I was wondering if you have the picture."

"it isn't with me right now. Why do you want it? I heard you two broke up already." He stated nonchalantly. He continued looking at the tree. Should he throw it or not? It sucks right now. It lacked inspiration… it lacked warmth—it lacked Yuri—

he snapped out of his thoughts, why did she pop into his mind? Right now he should have moved on. He shouldn't be thinking about her at all. After all she broke his heart and broke it to millions of pieces. He bitterly smiled and waited Mikan's answer.

"it's for—its's for—memories." She finally said.

"good or bad?"

"why does it matter to you?" she snapped. "I don't think it's your business."

"I see you haven't moved on yet."he stated matter of fact.

Mikan breath hitched. She glared at him, "so what if I haven't—it's just that I haven't found someone to date yet."

He took his brush and dipped it in water. "I heard that girls take a month to cry everything out, another month to grieve and another to find a new guy. You sure are moving fast."

"I haven't found anyone yet. So I'm not going out with somebody. Besides it's just the second month—so I'm still grieving."

"if you want, you can go out with me." He said out of the blue. Mikan stared at him in shock, almost dropping the canvass in her hands. He didn't even look at her all he did is stare at the tree outside as he added several new strokes in his painting. Mikan blinked twice and tried to rewind what he just said and then it sank in.

"are—are you _freaking_ serious Hibino?" She asked. "that's something one normal man would _not_ ask."

He smirked, "think about it, we'll help each other. You can be my inspiration in my paintings and I can be your—what do they call people like this?" he asked himself, putting a finger by his temple. "oh yeah, rebound."

"You're okay with that? People hate it when they become rebounds you idot! Are you taking drugs?" she hauled the empty canvass directly to him. He dodged it easily and caught it before it fell and then growled at her.

"don't go throwing this." He snapped. "I'm not taking drugs. I'll be able to help you. Isn't that enough?"

"I don't like using people." Mikan said.

He snorted, "come on, we'll both benefit in this deal. You may never know—this might lead to something else."

Mikan raised her eybrow, "something like?"

He looked at her straightly, "love."

Love. Love. Love. She couldn't believe this guy, of all the things he can say—why does it have to be love?

"or maybe friendship. After all we just have to act up in front of Hyuuga and the others. I'm willing to help."

She couldn't understand this guy, there must be a catch in this plan of his. Is there a normal guy who would help her move on and forget? Is there a man left it the world who cares about women as he does? She glanced at him. He let his palette down and was directly staring at her.

"I am for real, little girl." he smiled. "I'm the rare kind of guy who comes once in a blue moon."

"why?"

"why what?"

"why are you willing to help me?"

'_you need help… not just ordinary help… you need someone.'_

he stood up and walked towards her. "let's just say that we're in the same boat right now." He stopped an arm's length away. "so is it a deal or not?"

'…_someone who will stay by your side.'_

She swallowed hard, it's just an act, just like her poker face. It will help her forget and most of all, she connected her eyes with him, he needs this too. He needs to divert his attention away from what he is feeling—just like her.

'_you need a companion Mikan, someone who'd be with you and who'd understand you.'_

She raised her hand up slowly and extended it between the two of them.

'_you need someone as a buffer, som__eone who is willing to distract and help you forget.'_

She met his eyes and watched as he raised his hand.

'_you need someone exactly just like you.'_

Their hands touched and he immediately gripped it hard.

'_if you find that person—I guarantee you Mikan. You would be able to let go and forget—__**completely**__._' Sumire said finally.

"deal."

They shook their hands, sealing a deal that is unsure when to end. As she stared into his eyes, she hoped and prayed that it will end up right. That they will be able to help each other…

_Just like wolves licking each other__'s wounds until it finally heals._

**-O-**

**A/N:**** hey! hey! Chapter six done. This story will only have 12 chapters. So I guess I'm at the middle right now. So what do you think? Was it fulfilling or what? Leave a review and feel free to post questions. Thank you everyone! I'll see you some other time. **

**Hibino Kanata is one guy that a girl would surely want. He is the real prince charming. I doubt that there is one out there. You will see why in the next chapters so continue reading people!**

**Ja,**

**Suikashan **


	7. Memory 7: Nonchalant

**POKER FACE**

by: Suikashan

**Summary: "if you want, you can go out with me." He said out of the blue. "are—are you _freaking_ serious Hibino?" She asked. "so is it a deal or not?" he asked. "deal."**

**A/N****: I would like to thank everyone who cared to read the last chapter and who left reviews. In this chapter you'll see Natsume's reaction to Mikan's relationship with Kanata. Hope he wouldn't get furious about it. I won't be updating fast next chapter. And I have decided that there will only be 12 chapters. Nothing more nothing less.**

**Let it start!**

**Memory 7: nonchalant**

**-O-**

"So this is what it feels like to be a princess." Mikan half joked as she closed the gate behind her. Kanata was leaning against his car with a small smile on his face, "are you this sweet when you were together?"

"Much sweeter, I greet her with a kiss as she steps out of the gate."

Mikan smiled at Kanata. "She sure is—_was_ I mean, a lucky girl." Mikan skipped towards him and stared, "well, open the door for me gentleman."

He rolled his eyes at her, but then opened the door nonetheless. "Here you go princess, are you ready?" he asked all of a sudden. Mikan gripped hard on the door as she nodded.

"I am ready, Kanata." Her mouth was set into a thin line, "the question is, are you?"

"I am when you are." He shut the door.

Mikan sat down and stared out of the window, as she watched the structures fade as they pass by, Mikan couldn't help but think about their conversation a moth ago…

Mikan and Kanata made a deal to date one another. They decided to go out in order to help one another in their problems. Surprisingly, Mikan found out that it is actually entertaining to be around him and now-the two of them are going to be official. She didn't mention any of this to Hotaru or to Ruka, knowing the two of them; they would freak out when they find out. She couldn't care less about them. Right now all she can think of is Natsume and his reaction to this. She glanced at him as he drove. Kanata seems so serious in driving; he followed the speed limit and often glanced at his side mirrors. It was actually fun to watch him drive.

"Stop smiling like an idiot." He snapped. "And stop staring at me like I'm some kind of person who's taking a driving exam."

"It's fun watching you."

He glared at her but then turned his attention back to the road. "I like to drive like this."

She rolled her eyes and began to contemplate, Kanata is someone a girl should keep. After all he is an artist, a serious type of guy and adding to his serious look is his pair of square rimmed eyeglasses, behind them were two wide ash colored orbs .He is sweet, kind, a gentleman and cute—a girl's dream guy; an exact opposite of Natsume and having a resemblance of Ruka. Even though everything is just an act, Mikan is happy to spend some time with him and to get to know him better.

"Are we going to eat together too?" Mikan suddenly asked, "I mean, I have friends and so do you, I may keep you away from them if you start eating with me."

"Do you want me to make a schedule? Monday for you, Tuesday for them…?"

Mikan laughed. "Yeah, so that they wouldn't get jealous—"

"Of me? Yeah right, who would want a girlfriend like you?" he scoffed immediately. Mikan whacked him with her bag. "cut it out! I'm driving you moron!"

"Asshole…" Mikan crossed her arms in front of her chest and ignored him the whole ride.

**-O-**

Feeling her heart sink deeper and deeper as they neared the school, Mikan couldn't help but start to sweat and shake. She couldn't help but think of what people would have to say when she steps out of Kanata's car. _Pretending is never easy_, she finally decided. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. She needs to do this in order to move on, by any chance she has to live with her decision.

Kanata stole a glance through the corner of his eye, Mikan is nervous and so is he. He doesn't know and wouldn't want to know or _see_ what Natsume's reaction is. He still wants to live longer and right now, he doubted his decision in helping her. Feeling the urge to comfort her and himself, he reached over and took Mikan's hand in his.

Mikan surprisingly looked at him, he released her hand instantly, "I'm sorry—I thought it's alright."

"It's fine." She took his hand, "I like the feeling of having someone holding my hand at times like this."

"You're talking as if we were given a death penalty." He said flatly.

Mikan pressed her lips together, saying 'death penalty' made her heart sink deeper and also her body deeper in her seat. Kanata's metaphor made her knees go weak.

"We're in the same boat now anyways," he said coolly, "you're fate is mine. If you die because he or the congregation persecutes you—I have to die with you."

She smiled sadly, "You don't know him, I personally feel that he wouldn't give a shit—he threw me away, he doesn't have anything to do with me anymore. Luna will be ecstatic about this when she finds out." She squeezed his hand. "Nothing will happen."

"I hope so."

Kanata suavely entered the gates of the Gakuen, several people were still in the parking lot. He mentally crossed himself, he is not only afraid of Natsume's reaction, he is also afraid of Mikan's friends' reactions, especially Imai Hotaru's. Mikan told him several stories about her being hit by the 'baka gun.' Whatever that baka gun is, he is sure that it is very excruciating.

Mikan snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the engine get killed. She turned to Kanata who was still sitting there, not moving a bit. _He is also afraid,_ Mikan thought grimly. She released her seatbelt and beamed at him. "I thought you are ready."

"I am," he snapped, "I abide by the rule 'ladies first.'" He mocked with an on off smile.

"You're supposed to open my door." She stated matter of fact. Kanata's smile faded directly. Without further ado, Kanata stepped out and went to her door. Mikan tensed immediately when the door opened.

"Look, let's just get over this so that we can go home safe." He offered his hand and Mikan took it. She stepped out and took in a handful of air.

"No one's going to die, believe me." The two walked hand in hand towards the entrance, several girls made a loud gasp and began to call their friends. Mikan felt that this will spread faster than fire. Every step she takes felt like the last, the two of them just have to survive this day, the next would be easier and the next—people will forget about the two of them. At her side seniors whispered to one another. Not having a doubt that it is about the two of them, she chose to move on and ignore. Men at the end of the corridor called out to Kanata who disregarded them completely. She squeezed his hand tightly.

"I'm going to walk you to your room." He said, loud enough for the students to hear. Mikan cleared her throat and nodded happily.

'_As long as Kanata's with me, I will be fine.'_

** -O-**

Sliding the door behind her after saying goodbye, Mikan heaved a loud sigh. She went to her seat instantly and ignored her classmates who stared at her. She sat down and closed her eyes. A long day is awaiting her right now. Before she can rest her head, her classmates surrounded her and began asking her about the two of them. Mikan didn't know whether she should say anything about it at all. She and Kanata have not planned anything about this—and judging her experience right now, she knows Kanata is being bombarded by questions like this too.

"Come on Mikan, when did you start dating? Are you completely over Natsume?" one of them asked. Mikan decided to laugh nervously.

"Really guys… I can't—" she tried explaining, thankfully, her phone started to sing out, Mikan took it and excused herself from her friends and classmates. Looking at the screen she saw Kanata's name.

"I can't stand them!" She said at once. On the other line Kanata chuckled, "why is it that there is no disturbance in your place?" she pressed her phone to her ear more.

'_Guys here just congratulated me, no wonder you're so upset about coming to school with me.'_

"No fair Kanata!" she frowned, "why is it like that there? Here they almost killed me just to get an answer."

'_Well, I'm lucky I guess, I saw several girls cry, probably they are sad that I am no longer single.'_

She growled, "and you think that ever girl wants you?"

He laughed. '_Yes. So you are lucky. So, have you seen Hyuuga or your friends?'_

"No… not yet." A group of girls passed by and smiled at Mikan and congratulated her. Mikan waved back and sighed. "I'm not even sure if he's here already."

'_Oh… hey gotta go. Rui wants to ask me about my new painting. So,' he paused dramatically. 'no ' love you' coming from you?'_

Mikan rolled her eyes, "dream on you dolt."

'_You may never know someone might be listening and they might think that—'_

"Alright! I love you, happy?" she growled.

'_Hey that's not even—'_

"I'm hanging up. Bye." She hit 'end' and walked back inside the room, once inside all her classmates smiled at her. "Why the hell did you listen to my conversation?" everyone laughed and began teasing her about their little quarrel. Amidst their conversation the door slid open, Natsume stood there with a grim expression on his face, some people theorized that he already found out about Mikan or Luna just got him angry again. All of them backed away and continued what they were doing before he came. Mikan wiped her forehead and mentally thanked Natsume's presence.

"Let's talk." He said flatly. Mikan blinked at him and thought why.

"About what?"

He didn't answer, instead he dragged her out of the room. Mikan jerked her arm away. "What do we have to talk about?

"I don't know—how about your dog." He said sarcastically.

"I don't have a dog." Mikan snapped. "Well? What?"

"Are you really dense?"

"What gives you the right to insult me?" she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Well, this is just a waste of time—I'm going back." She turned to her heel and started walking.

"I'm talking about Hibino and I'm not insulting you, I'm stating a fact." The way he said Kanata's last name was like poison needed to be spit out.

She turned to him, "what about Kanata?" she asked innocently.

"Are you together?"

"Yeah, we are."

"Since when?"

Mikan started to think of a day—the day they had a deal? No that's way too early, or the day he took her out first? She couldn't remember the day. "When?" Natsume snapped.

She frowned at him, "I don't see why you have to act angry, I mean, I was not the one who had an affair when we were together. We started dating a week ago."

"What affair are you talking about? I _never_ had one."

"Don't think that I'm a fool Natsume. I know everything about you and Luna."

"You heard one gossip and you start to believe it? You're so stupid."

Mikan gaped at him, "and you have the audacity to tell me that I'm stupid? At least be happy for me that I found someone who can take care of me!"

He snorted. "Yeah I'm happy; you're not my burden anymore."

"Well. I'm glad he doesn't think of me that way. Thanks for being happy for me." She walked away and never looked back. Having this confrontation is much worse than being ignored by Natsume. she can feel her blood begin to boil at what he said, it was a good thing she had self control or else she would've slapped him.

Natsume on the other hand stared at the door she just entered. Mikan is going out with Hibino, that's what he heard from Luna when they went to school. At first he didn't believe it but now he certainly does. He hopes that he'll treat her nicely and love her more than he did. He ran a hand through his hair and made his way downstairs.

**-O-**

Chatters filled the hall as everyone filled inside for lunch. Mikan seated together with her friends (including Natsume, to her surprise.) and Kanata mentally cringed whenever someone passes by and giggles or congratulates the two of them, being a superb actress, all Mikan did was fake a smile reaching her ears and say 'thank you' in the sweetest voice she could muster. Opposite her was a scowling Luna, who continuously complained that when she and Natsume began dating, no one dared to congratulate her. At that time, Kanata, who could not control his laugh anymore snorted loudly. Mikan pinched him by the arm and Natsume glared at him.

"… to think of it, I have the perfect boyfriend, but I was never congratulated."

"Who'd congratulate a slut who stole another girl's man anyways?" Sumire offered nonchalantly. She picked at her food, clearly showing her loss of appetite at the sight of Luna.

Luna raised an eyebrow, "look who's talking, the girl who never got my so called man. You must be so jealous."

"Why would I be?" she sneered back. The table has gone quiet; everyone paid meticulous attention to their spat. "You're a whore, everyone has had you. You're a bitch, no one would be friends with you and you're a gold digger, no one would want you."

"I suggest that you keep that fat garbage filled mouth of yours Shouda, you don't know who you're fighting." Luna hissed back.

"I know who I'm fighting, why don't you shut up? This isn't you're territory, if you can't stand me might as well as leave. Many of us here lost our appetite already."

Natsume who was silent all the time finally glared at Sumire, "the two of you are acting like kids. Grow up." He then grabbed Luna's arm and pulled her out of the hall.

The remaining people in the table sighed, "There's too much tension if you put Sumire, Luna, Natsume and Mikan together."

Mikan looked at Koko quizzically, "why involve me in _their_ spat?"

"Oh come on, Mikan." Koko snapped, "You barely ate, you barely raised your head to look at him and her and you barely talked." He stopped abruptly. "is it me or it's just that you're not over him yet?"

At this point Mikan pressed her lips together. Her face turned ghostly white. Why does she have to be so transparent in front of her friends? Why can they see through her like air? Why do they have to point that out especially in front of Kanata?

"I am, believe it or not. I've moved on because of Kanata, because he's here. Now if you'll excuse me." Taking her tray in her hands, she sped off. Kanata on the other hand fixed his stare on Koko before following her, too much drama has occurred in this table, does he really know what he's entering right now?

A conclusion was made when the two left the table:

_Mikan has not moved on __**yet**__._

**-O-**

**A/N: hey guys, another chapter is finished, please leave a review. Thanks.**

**Ja,**

**Suikashan**


	8. Memory 8: Ice

**Poker Face**

**By: Suikashan**

**DISLAIMER: I do not own GA. But I freaking own this story and my other stories. Steal my story, you'll burn in hell.**

**Summary: ****"if you want, you can go out with me." He said out of the blue. "are—are you **_**freaking**_** serious Hibino?" She asked. "so is it a deal or not?" he asked. "deal."**

**They're short novels, and you'll be able to finish them in a day or two.**

**Anyways, last chapter all of you witnessed Mikan and Kanata's so-called relationship and also Natsume's reaction, later you'd be reading the fourth to the last chapter. Do enjoy.**

**I would like to thank the following people:**

**People who're patient to see my update,**

**People who say that this is great,**

**And People who appreciate what I make.**

**Though I can't thank all of you personally,**

**I hope you'd still continue to read this story.**

**Well, let it start!**

**Memory 8: Ice**

**-O-**

Time flew quickly and before Mikan knew it, it was already fall. She and Kanata have been dating for almost three months now, and far from Mikan expected it to be—she enjoys every moment she spends with Kanata. Right now, Mikan felt that everything is normal. Everything is just right. A smile slowly crept upon her face as she glanced down, leaves of different colors, sizes and shapes covered the ground. Giddily, Mikan scooped up a handful of leaves and threw them high in the air, just like what she used to do when she was still a kid. A laugh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. The scent of the chilly November air filled her senses and before she could open her eyes, arms encircled her waist.

"You are such a kid."

She turned herself around only to see the person she doesn't want to see right now. "Kanata!" she exclaimed sarcastically, "what are you doing here?"

"Walking to school, what else?" he shrugged, "it's cold and you don't have a scarf around your neck, boy, you really are crazy."

Mikan lazily rolled her eyes, taking wide steps in order to catch up with his pace. "Look who's talking, you aren't wearing a scarf."

"It's because it's with you."

"Huh?" Mikan mouthed confusedly, she stopped dead in her tracks while staring at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well Miss leaf-thrower, while you're throwing those leaves, I," he pointed his thumb at his chest, "put that around your neck." Now he pointed to her neck, and to her surprise, she saw his green scarf around her neck.

"Uh, Yeah, sorry. Thanks." She mumbled sheepishly.

Kanata reached for her arm and dragged her, "come on, we'll be late."

"Hey, why didn't you bring your car with you anyways?"

**-O-**

Natsume and Luna. As far as Mikan thought and saw the two of them are still together, still holding hands, still going home together and still having dinner together.; not that it matters to Mikan, of course. After all she is contented with her relationship with Kanata. They never kissed nor cuddled together, holding each other's hand is enough to make everything look real—enough to fool everybody even her mother.

She can still remember the day when she told her mother about him:

"Are you sure you've gone through the three month period, honey?" Yuka asked Mikan dejectedly as they sat down to eat by her mom's porch.

"Yes." She shrugged, "I counted every single day that passed after—" she felt a lump on her throat as she tried to say what was on her mind. "I followed the rule mom, don't worry."

Yuka stirred her coffee and watched the sky turn orange as dusk approached, "I just have a little—I just feel that you're doing this as a show."

Mikan froze and stared at her mother's eyes, "Mom." She said firmly, "what made you say that? Kanata was there when I needed someone; he was with me in the worst time of my life. How could I not fall in love with him?"

"You are too defensive; it's a mother's intuition. I never get wrong Mikan. Mind you."

"Look mom," she sighed, "right now I don't give a damn about what you think. All I care about is my happiness and my relationship with him."

Yuka smiled softly, "you can not deny that you are still in pain Mikan, emotional wounds take longer to heal. You don't have to pretend."

"I'm not pretending." She stated directly without batting an eyelash.

Yuka rolled her eyes, "whatever you say, now if you would not mind, tell me something about this Kanata of yours."

Mikan sat up straightly, "Well he and I…"

**-O-**

The wind blew harshly—straight to their bones while they sat down by the benches one day. Having lunch is Mikan's favorite time with her friends, other than she can talk to them, she can eat their food and harass them quite easily.

Sumire moaned in annoyance as the wind yet again blew her hair the wrong way. Her petite hand made its way to her locks, sweeping it aside. "Seriously, can't the wind stop blowing too much?"

Hotaru's lips moved up with Sumire's statement.

"What's with that smile, _Imai_? Just because you have short hair doesn't mean you have the right to mock me and my hair problems!"

"Don't put words in my mouth, _Shouda_." Hotaru replied icily. Beside her Mikan, Anna and Nonoko were busy tasting one another's bento and giving one another compliments as they munched on, not caring about Hotaru and Sumire's row.

"Do you that we'll have a white Christmas?" Nonoko pondered, eyes raised upwards. Mikan and Anna stared upwards only to see several drifting clouds.

"Well, there is a pattern." Anna answered proudly.

"What pattern?" Both girls asked.

"Last year it was white—this year it wouldn't be."

"Is there a logical explanation in your theory, Anna?" Hotaru interjected. There is one rule you should not break when Imai Hotaru is around: Never ever make presumptions without supporting ideas or facts.

Anna laughed nervously feeling like a balloon that has been pricked, "Umm… It was just a guess."

"Don't do that ever again." Hotaru hissed.

Mikan rolled her eyes at Hotaru, "when it comes to science you're all serious. Can't you be illogical sometimes?"

"I _am_ a logical person. I can't be illogical—"

Sumire shoved them away, "okay, okay—hold it. Really the two of you'd end up fighting about snow. How about we just bet on it?"

"I bet it wouldn't snow!" Anna, Nonoko and Sumire exclaimed with their hands raised up.

"How about you, Hotaru?" Mikan asked.

"It wouldn't."

Mikan frowned, "in that case then," she closed her eyes and thought real hard, "I bet it would snow."

"You are such a fool! I'm betting a hundred dollars!" the other girls ejaculated.

Hotaru shook her head and muttered a single word, "baka."

**-O-**

"Mikan, are you stupid or what?" Sumire snapped irritably throwing the magazine violently on her lap. "You want to ice skate right _now_? It's fuckin' fall."

Mikan growled at her, "I am not saying I want to skate now—I just want to skate just for fun. After all, we haven't done that _yet_. Ever." She raised her eyebrows at the same time widening her eyes. "Seriously, haven't you thought about that, even once?"

"Who would want to ice skate anyways? Other than its cold, you might end up having your hand sliced open when someone accidentally runs over you." Ruka shivered at the thought, "it makes me want to throw up."

Mikan's shoulders dropped, "You really don't have to be a pessimist. Come on guys, let's ice skate." She pleaded each one of them. "Come on, Hotaru, Ruka, Sumire—Koko come on, it'll be fun!"

The others shook their head muttering "childish, stupid and not worthy of time." At this point of time, Natsume sat down beside Ruka and raised one eyebrow at Mikan.

"What is she whining about?"

"Well," Ruka put his book down, "she wants to go ice skating and now," he chuckled, "she's pestering everyone else to go with her."

Natsume rolled his eyes, "fucking childish and stupid." Both Ruka and Koko sniggered, earning a glare from Mikan.

**-O-**

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Mikan's amber orbs tried to open, the knocks continued. She grouchily threw herself out of bed and made her way to the door with her eyes half closed. She muttered several curses under her breath and then hauled the door open.

"Hey," Natsume said quietly after the door was thrown open. Mikan mouth dropped open as she doubted whether it _is_ really Natsume or not.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She bellowed before she could stop herself.

"Come with me." He stated directly towards her. Mikan raised her eyebrows at him.

"Come with _you_?" she asked outrageously, "and _why_ on earth would I come with you?"

"Because I said so." He shrugged; Mikan gaped at him as she adjusted her off-shoulder shirt. She shut her eyes close and held the bridge of her nose hoping to control her temper towards Natsume.

"Do you _know_ what day it is right now?" she snapped, and before he could answer, she beat him in answering. "It's a _fucking_ Saturday. _Saturday_ is my day of rest, in case you don't know, Natsume. If you have somewhere to go, go without me—go by yourself, you have a girlfriend right? Ask her out."

"Take a bath, I'll wait for you." Ignoring her answer he pushed past her to enter her house. All Mikan could do was stare at him as he made himself at home. She followed him and saw that he was already sitting on her couch and reading one of the magazines.

"You honestly think that I'd agree?" She screamed at him.

He gave her a dead-panned look. "Yes."

"You are so—"

Natsume grabbed her arm and started to drag her upstairs, an occasional "oof" and "ouch" was heard from Mikan. When they reached her bathroom Natsume threw her inside.

She released a loud sigh, "really, you've got the nerve to drag me all the way here and throw me inside the bathroom! Is this house yours, huh?"

"Look, get in the shower before I change my mind in closing this door and join you. Your choice." His eyes burned with determination as he held the door knob, "well? Want me to join or—"

She shoved him, "out, out, out!" and then slammed the door shut.

**-O-**

"So where are you exactly taking me, huh, Natsume?" she asked grudgingly. After being visited at a godly hour and being dragged all over her house, who wouldn't talk to him in this tone? She thought bitterly. Beside her, Natsume pretended not to hear her. "Are you listening to me?"

"I can hear you but I prefer not to listen."

She snorted, "Wow. In case you don't know, I _deserve_ to know, I was the one who was _trying_ to enjoy my weekend and not the _one_ who just _barged_ in declaring that I should come with him."

Natsume turned his head towards her, "I'm taking you out of town. It would take us two hours to go there."

"Where exactly?" she insisted.

"You'll find out soon." He shifted gears and steered, finally avoiding eye contact.

Mikan gaped at him, incredulous of his actions before rolling her eyes and staring out of the window.

**-O-**

During the ride Mikan was surprised to see snow falling in the town where he brought her, it was way too early for snow. Too early. She glanced at Natsume who seemed not to care about the snow. "Why is it snowing here already? I didn't bring my gloves or anything—I bet it'll be freezing out of there."

He chuckled, "it's a good thing I brought a scarf. Knowing you, you hate scarves."

Mikan watched little children gather around to make a snowman and smiled. "You know me too well." She whispered to herself.

"Anyways, I searched the net and I saw that several towns near Tokyo are experiencing snow, so here we are."

She frowned, "the question is, why you brought me here."

He gave her a lopsided smile, "you'd find out later."

She relaxed once again in her seat and pondered why they were here.

Once lunch was over Natsume took her hand and told her that they are going for a tour. Mikan glanced at their linked hands often and smiled sadly. This is supposed to be a happy time if they are still together. This is supposed to be romantic if he's still with her or if she's with Kanata. She felt so bitter and confused of this event, Natsume isn't supposed to be with her right now. "Are you even listening to me?" he suddenly snapped.

Mikan looked at him, "you were saying?"

"I said we'll be skating in the lake."

Mikan stopped walking and stared at him incredulously, "you're kidding."

He gave her a straight face, "Here I am, wanting to go and ice skate with you and you're gonna tell me that I am kidding."

She shook her head, "It's not like that. I mean, why did you bring me here?"

"To tell you the truth, we really didn't have the chance to go ice skating even once. So I thought, let's go and skate."

Mikan's heart skipped a beat as she looked away, trying hard not to blush about what he said. "Uhh, that's really nice of you—so, uhh, where's the lake?"

Natsume pointed his finger through the trees, "it's just across the woods. I already checked it out a week ago, the ice is already thick, we can go ice skating there. Now come on, we haven't got all day."

The lake was heaven. If it was spring or probably summer, it surely would be a paradise for people who enjoy tranquility and peace. It was a vast lake, Mikan couldn't even see the shore on the other side. She mouthed 'wow,' quietly as she stared. Hundreds of trees surrounded the lake and so do bushes and probably grass if it wasn't winter. It was truly a sight to behold for a person and Mikan silently thanked Natsume who found this place.

"What do you think?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat, "it's amazing, beautiful—this is so romantic." She sighed wistfully, "I mean, for a woman—who really likes lakes or so—" she finished lamely, "how are we supposed to skate anyways? We don't have—" Natsume raised two pairs of skates as Mikan smiled. "Yeah. I thought so too."

The next hour was devoted to learning how to skate—in Mikan's case, that is. Natsume had been rolling his eyes for the past one hour as he watched Mikan tumble, trip and fall down on her butt several times. Finally, after Mikan swallowed her pride she let Natsume teach her. He held her hand as he skated backwards, laughing and deliberately trying to make her skate. She laughed too at certain times when she would fall and bring Natsume down with her. It was something she missed, something that she wants to happen again sometime.

"okay, now you go skate on your own. I am tired of teaching you." he panted slightly while sitting down on ice. Mikan gaped at him.

"do you expect me to skate? I haven't moved an inch here!" she raised her arms, "for goodness sake, I can only stand in these skates."

Natsume waved her off, "try, you may do it."

She huffed and turned away from him, "okay Mikan, on the count of three—one, two—" before she could even move her leg she already felt Natsume push her forward. She gasped loudly as she felt her legs move involuntarily through the ice, "you idiot Natsume! How am I supposed to stop?" she turned to face him, only to find him laughing loudly, "god dammit! Don't just laugh there I can't—oof!" she felt her butt land on the ice with a loud thud, she bit her lip and tried not to scream.

After a while Natsume came beside her, still trying to stifle his laughter. Mikan glared at him, he took her arms and yanked her up. After they finally stood up, Mikan gave him a wicked grin at the same time pushing him down.

"What the fuck Mikan!" he grabbed hold of the scarf and brought her on top of him. A laugh coming from her made him scowl and growl.

"Oh god, it was so epic! You should've seen your face! It was way too—" he pulled the scarf forcefully, bringing her face close to his. Mikan stopped laughing and coughed. She stared into his orbs and smiled a bit, "well, you surely made me happy this day. Uh, thanks I guess."

"Yeah, you made me happy too." He replied, Mikan sat down on the ice and continued to smile, "thanks too."

"Well, I'd be returning this to you now." She removed her scarf and placed it around his neck, Natsume stared at her as she carefully adjusted it. She stole a glance at his face… she realized that they were too close. Way too close for being friends. She averted her gaze and saw his parted lips, they were pale. It was way to cold, and before she could stop herself she kissed him. Natsume on the other hand, took the chance and pulled her closer. He closed his eyes and responded to her touch, to her kiss and to her warm embrace. His hand grasped her neck and brought her against him as he took control of their kiss finally taking the time to explore her mouth. A moan escaped Mikan's lips as she clutched at him fiercely. Her fingers gripped on his hair, bringing herself closer to him—closer to his body.

"Natsume…" she murmured quietly through their kiss, "Natsu—" he captured her lips once again, more passionate this time. Her tongue made its way into his mouth. Something she has done once or twice in their kisses. Suddenly something vibrated in her pants that made her pull away quite harshly, beneath her Natsume pressed his lips together, they both know what they did. And it was not supposed to happen. She turned off her phone and looked away.

"I—" Natsume started.

"-It was a mistake." She filled in. "I regret it and so do you. So can we just forget about it and leave? I really _did_ enjoy this day with you. Thank you, but I _really_ want to go home right now." She watched him as he stood up; finally he nodded and guided her back to the ground. He surely enjoyed this moment with her too. But why did she have to end it too quickly. It wasn't even midnight yet. Why is this Cinderella abrupt to go home?

**-O-**

The car halted in front of Mikan's house. She unfastened her seatbelt and opened the door, or at least try to. She heatedly glanced at Natsume who sat there motionlessly.

"Open the door." She hissed. He threw her a glance before letting his hand drop down on his lap.

He released a sarcastic laugh, "You really don't want me around do you?"

She sighed, "It's not like that but right now, all I want to do is get in my house and take a rest. Can't I do that? Now please, open the frigging door."

"Five more minutes."

"God _damn_ it!" She screamed, "I spent the day with you, isn't that enough? What _else_ do you want? Wait—don't answer that. Why are you doing this anyway? Are you trying to hit two birds with one stone? Isn't she enough?" her eyes never left him, she wanted answers but then she is afraid of what he'd say.

"She is enough." He answered directly.

"Then open the door and let me go." She is tired; tired of this game he is playing, tired of him coming back into her life, tired of him acting like everything is just the same in short she is tired of him. Natsume unlocked the door and Mikan hurriedly left the car to walk back to her house.

But before she could even reach the porch she felt his strong grip around her arm. Her stomach dropped so low that it felt like it was already by her feet. She is tired talking to him and so she let him turn her around to face him.

"I'll only ask you once, and I hope you'd say yes."

A lump formed in her throat as she tried desperately to speak, finally her voice came out as a croak, "what?"

Amber met crimson as Natsume's forehead touched hers. "You—" his forefinger touched her lips, tracing them slowly. "Shut up—hear me out." His breath touched her face as helplessly tried not to breathe in his breath and drink in his scent. She closed her eyes and prayed that he wouldn't ask for it.

"One last kiss." He murmured quietly. Her mind told her 'no' repeatedly but then her heart dictated something else. A second later, her mind finally agreed, thinking there really is no way out.

His lips descended to meet hers in a wispy way, like a feather touching a baby's face. She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh. This is what her heart wanted. This is what she wanted—and she secretly hoped that this is what he wanted too. One of his hands brought her face closer to his and the other lazily hung itself around her petite waist. She pressed herself closer, feeling his warmth, taking in his breath as she angled her face to keep up with his kisses. Her hand clutched his coat tightly like she is afraid to let this moment end too quickly—afraid to let him go. Her thoughts were all thrown out of the window, all she cared about is this moment. Him and her. This moment, this kiss and the memory of their so many kisses.

She felt tears building up in her eyes and she blinked instantly. Even though she wants this—this is not supposed to happen. She pulled away from him and met his eyes, she opened her mouth to speak but then he closed the gap and planted a chaste kiss on her lips. Silencing her. He gave her a small smile and finally left her alone, standing by her porch.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it. A sob escaped her lips as her hands covered her face completely. She felt so angry. Completely angry but then she isn't angry about him kissing her, she isn't angry that she agreed. She is angry because she still felt the same. She is still in love with him—with Hyuuga Natsume.

**-O-**

**A/N: Whew, This is the longest chapter I've written. (I made it long in order to compensate) I don't know if someone noticed it but I skipped Natsume's birthday. You see, it is too cliché if I include it so I skipped it. Anyways, please leave reviews people! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll see you soon.**

**P.S.:**

**Feel free to ask questions. **

**Ja,**

**Suikashan**


	9. Memory 9: Out

**A/N: Hey everyone. This is the next chapter of Poker face. Sorry for the late update. Enjoy!**

**Memory 9: Out**

**-O-**

January—Sakura Mikan's eyes widened some more as she stared incredulously at the hello kitty calendar on top of her desk. It was the ninth of January and she didn't even know. Her birthday (January first) was celebrated quite simply (for she doesn't want extravagant celebrations and it would have taken so much time planning), her friends celebrated New Year with her and that was all that matters. Natsume was there of course, she and Natsume were civil—they bade hello and goodbye cordially, and were simply nonchalant, as though their silly rendezvous never happened.

Moments before her eyes close every night, she revisited their trip—she retraced their steps, memorized his facial expressions, and listened to his laughs over and over until sleep engulfs her. She rarely dreamt of him, which she is thankful for. She had enough of him when she is awake and she wouldn't want him in her sleep. It was actually weird and frustrating in her part—even though she keeps up with her poker face, deep inside she is still in love with him. one time when they were together (with their friends of course), Natsume held her arm to guide her—she gave him a look of confusion, for he made her heart skip several beats and he just gave her one of his 'what the hell is your problem? I am just guiding you out because you're in my way' look.

And she concluded, that it was stupid of her to keep her feelings while the arrogant, asshole just acts nonchalant about it. it was driving her insane. Fortunately, Kanata is there to be her—er, distraction or help, in his opinion.

True enough, Kanata has been the _best_ distraction God has given her _ever_, and probably the best boy friend a girl could ever want. She knows way to well that her fellow peers have been jealous of her. Kanata (true to his promise) became a distraction, a gentleman, a genie in certain times (he magically handed her howalons one time saying her wish is his command.), a mind reader (he brought Mikan to an amusement when she thought of going there), a best friend (He actually shared the same feelings towards the 'Last Song' which they read almost every time they are together—and all of Nicholas Sparks' works), a joker (he managed to make her snort out her pudding one time during a dinner with Yuka) and a prince. He didn't really come reining a horse or wearing armor—he just came and saved her.

Now that's a real prince.

_People would kill to be me, right now. God, I am so lucky._ She pulled herself out of her musing, walked to her mirror and stared at her reflection. She was still Mikan, she still has her long auburn hair—though shorter now, her eyes were still big, doe-like and brown, still the same height, much to her disappointment and still thin—well not really, last night when she weighed herself she discovered she gained a few pounds ("You—are heavy like an elephant!" Kanata exclaimed once he carried her on his back after carelessly spraining her ankle, which she does a lot even before they were an item. Of course he earned a punch after he said that) and she called Anna and cursed her for letting her become the taster of all her new recipes and getting her fat and ugly. Hotaru reprimanded her this morning, commanding her to apologize in an instant, for Anna sunk into depression.

She called, alright. And now as she stared at her new figure—she just realized that she shouldn't have screamed at Anna. She felt better, fuller and—light. She mentally noted to shop for some baking ingredients as a sign of peace.

She smiled at her reflection, who smiled back at her as if saying 'Hi to the new Mikan!' "Finally," she said to herself, "I'm out."

**-O-**

At exactly seven-thirty, Kanata knocked on their front door. Immediately, Mikan bolted towards the door, momentarily sneaking a glance at the mirror, she tucked a stray lock of her hair before opening the door and beaming at Kanata. He rolled his eyes playfully, "where have you been, Mars? It took you—" he glanced at his watch, "five minutes to open the door." She grabbed his arm and led him inside. Lately, Kanata has been spending his Friday nights in her house. The first time he appeared in front of her doorstep had been shocking; other than he went there with a text saying he's already around the corner her mother had been there. It was a crazy night, Yuka had been hyperventilating and asking him questions non-stop. It was embarrassing and infuriating that she had to pinch her mom to stop her and glare at Kanata for trying not to laugh at their behavior.

Yuka's voice pulled her out of her trance, "Mikan, I said 'I'll take my leave.' There's been an emergency…" Mikan zoned out once more, her mother always finds an excuse, every Friday to get out of the house to leave them alone. It was annoying and quite tactless. She even knows that Kanata noticed it already but he was polite enough not to point out, instead, ever Friday he would say "That's a shame—I managed to rent a movie …"

Just like now.

"Oi!" he pinched her cheeks and she blinked at him, he was frowning at her, "are you alright? Do you want me to leave? You look sick—maybe you should take a rest."

"No, no, no, no. I'm fine," she gave him an awkward smile, "what did you rent anyways?"

He grabbed the case and showed her, "really," she grinned, "Are you a fan of Nicholas Sparks? Oh, god! Who knew? Who knew?"

"shut up," he growled, "I know you're a girl and I know girls love Nicholas Sparks—it's just a coincidence that I brought The Notebook last Friday—"

"—also Nights in Rodanthe? She smirked at him.

"Drop it." he casually turned the television on and hit the 'video' button. "No popcorn?"

"We forgot to buy—"

"That's fine, I could live without popcorn, but the question is, can you?"

He gave her a 'drop it' look before turning his back on her.

"You're just angry because I found out you're—"

"I like the book better." She blurted out.

"Yeah, me too." Mikan took every ounce of control to shut her mouth and not tease him again.

"The movie is inconsistent with the book."

"Yes—especially the part where they said Jamie is a whore or something."

"It's kinda stupid, don't you think?" she said after a moment of silence, Kanata turned the lights off and went straight to the DVD player, unaware of her wistful gaze.

"What's stupid?" Kanata reached for the remote and pressed 'play', he slouched on her couch and turned to look at her and repeated the question, "what's stupid?"

"Them."

He snorted, "Care to elaborate, princess?" Mikan rolled her eyes at him, grabbed the DVD case on her table with effort and then gave him an obvious look, "Mandy Moore and Shayne West?" he frowned at her, "you have anything against them? Did they steal your candy?" he smirked at her and then dodged the pillow she hurled at him.

"No," she snapped, "Jamie Sullivan and Landon Carter."

"And why are they stupid?"

"It's just my opinion, okay? They grew up in the same place, studied in the same school—"

"You're regretting that they only fell in love when she was about to die?"

She nodded, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "listen," he started, "you understand that they're from different worlds—not planets! Don't give me that look, I mean, he's from the in-group and Jamie—well, she is a loser. How on earth were they supposed to communicate? And besides, they have nothing to talk about."

"So you're telling me that fate stated they'll be together at that time?"

"God's plan." Mikan giggled, knowing way to well that Jamie Sullivan is a religious person.

"It just sucks," she murmured, "I mean, they grew up together and they didn't realize that they were for one another—if they just set aside their differences, they would've spent more time together. Possible enough to create better memories."

"I will repeat 'God's Plan.' Besides, it's fiction." He justified

"It certainly shows reality to me in some points." She quipped, eyes trained on the television. He didn't retort instead he kept his eyes on the television.

"Say…"

"Hmmm?"

"Why did you agree to help me-?" she asked, "I mean—yes you said you wanted to, but—I recall that you said we're on the same boat. Care to elaborate, young man?"

His eye twitched and Mikan waited for him to say something. She doesn't want to pry—but at least she wants him to be honest to her, just like how she's honest with him. She knew instantly that he does not want to disclose the information, for he sat there, immobile, jaw tightening and eyebrows furrowing every now and then. She sensed his discomfort and actually felt embarrassed and nosy about her statement.

"Look—I apologize, I shouldn't have pried…" she felt her cheeks go warm as she bowed her head, she mentally told herself to know when to shut up.

"It's fine, actually—I thought this is the right time to be honest about _that_." He referred to his statement months ago, "though I found it quite rude."

She turned beet red and buried her face in her hands. "Sorry."

He waved her off and sat up straightly, "among all the books of Sparks—A walk to remember has been my favorite."

"Why?"

"My first love died at an early age—and no, she didn't die of cancer. Hypothermia. Three years ago when winter arrived in Japan—my family, together with Rin's family went to our winter house. I hated snow at that time. I hated its wet feeling, I hated the cold, I hated it—I hated winter. But she changed my view towards snow—during that trip, she made me build a snowman with her, silly snow angels, I also remember having a snowball fight with her—I didn't feel cold, I didn't hate its wet feeling—I felt alive." He smiled at the memory, "she was smiling, laughing—she was as alive as I was. But I didn't realize it will be the last time—I _fucking_ didn't."

She swallowed thickly as she waited for the continuation, "after lunch the two of us went skiing alone. Our parents were tired and they couldn't keep up with our energy. We promised not to go far but then Rin brought up the subject about snow angels—the real ones. She said when we find one, we could make a wish and it will come true. I wanted to make her happy—and so we sent forth to find a snow angel—we went too far, I didn't notice and before I knew it. I knew we were lost. But then I heard her squeal and saw her holding on to a block of ice. It was a snow angel, that's what she said, the two of us were fascinated—it was pure bliss. That was until the blizzard came. We didn't know anything about the blizzard, we couldn't see anything. I grabbed her arm and yanked her away—moments passed. My feet were tired and so were hers. We were freezing but I didn't want to give up and so I carried her, she wasn't heavy but I was tired, my body couldn't take the cold and her weight—I found just a small space cramped in between rocks. I set her down and stayed there with her… afterwards—" his voice cracked, "she wished—she wished to that god damned snow angel to find our way home. I bit my lip and thought of a way to save her—save us."

"You know what I did?" he asked bitterly,

She shook her head.

"I left her."

Mikan looked down on her hands, "but you needed to leave—you need to get help! It—it wasn't your fault." She timidly took his hand, "don't beat yourself."

He snatched his hand away and clenched it, "it was! It _bloody_ hell was! We shouldn't have gone for that stupid snow angel! I should've thought of other ways to save us. I shouldn't have left her! I should've—I should've kept her warm! I shouldn't have left…I shouldn't."

"You acted on instinct," she justified. "You did the first thing that came into your mind. It wasn't your fault."

"While we ran back to her—I felt so cold inside, I was so scared. I imagined her, imagined her smiling at me and saying: "you came back!" I imagined her embracing me, thanking me for what I've done—but when we reached her—my whole world fell apart. I didn't see her smile, I didn't hear her voice—I just saw her there, white, pale, cold and rigid—it was so painful. I remember her father pulling her into his arms, rubbing her arms to give her warmth. I can still hear his soothing voice waking her up—I can still smell his tears, I felt his pain; his only daughter dead because of me." He sucked a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I was so stupid—I was a coward. And I know, even though they don't show it—I know they blame me for her death. I just know.

"Everyday I imagine myself in that situation—I imagine myself staying with her throughout the blizzard—if I only did that…maybe, maybe it would've made a difference. every night I wish to dream about her—I wanted to apologize, I wanted to talk to her—but god never gave me a chance to see her again, and I blamed him for her death—I blamed him for the blizzard. I became bitter and untrusting towards him. it was immature, but thatw as all I can do." he faced her and squeezed her hand, "I want to move on—I want to forget."

As she rubbed his back in a soothing manner, Mikan's thoughts drifted about their situation—she is trying to move on from a relationship, whereas he is trying to move on from a tragic past. True they were in a boat—but it wasn't the same anymore—hers was still afloat while his—she watched him clench and unclench his fists—his was sinking.

**-O-**

"So you're leaving us to be with your boyfriend?" Sumire exclaimed as they stood in the parking lot. They were going to Hotaru's place to hang out and probably just goof around when Mikan (dejectedly) told them she couldn't come—earning several disdainful looks from her so called 'friends.' Hotaru directly mentioned to her a few hours back that they have something to talk about (she knows it is about Valentine's day or probably she just wants to talk about her, meaning Mikan's, love life.) and now, as Mikan sheepishly ran her hand through her hair and avoided, pretty much everyone's glare, Sumire's eyebrows met.

"—Uh, I can always come next time." She offered with a smile, she caught Ruka's eye and pleaded. Ruka, being the soft one, tried to cut off the conversation between Sumire and Mikan only to be shoved into the car by Hotaru.

"No. you have been neglecting us and I notice it young woman."

She winced, sighed and finally sucked in a deep breath. "Fine. I will come with you guys."

"I sense a 'but'coming." Koko said Natsume was beside him together with Luna (the other reason why she didn't want to come.) and he was giving her a 'give it up' look. _Yeah right, as if I will give this special day up._

Mikan motioned Sumire to lean towards her, once she was near enough, Mikan placed her lips against her ears. "but—and I _am_ serious about this—I'll tell Koko and then probably Hotaru to blackmail you, too, that you, Sumire, have slept with one of our teachers in order to pass his subject because he didn't accept your bribe." Sumire released an outraged gasp, "Now tell me: should I _neglect_ you or should I _stay_ with you guys? This is a special day and I don't want to miss this. Besides I don't want to be with that—_slag_—no offense, and hang out with her."

She released Sumire who was beet red and trying to keep herself from strangling Mikan, she scoffed, the way she usually does and turned her back on her, "Fine. Enjoy your _special_ night." She herded the trio to the car and snapped at Koko who had been asking her what made her agree.

She turned away from them and proceeded to her boyfriend who was currently leaning against his car, carrying a look of boredom on his face, "let's go?"

"Yeah, I managed to get away from them," she grinned, "who knew blackmailing could be this fun?"

"Imai." He smirked, strapping his seatbelt in place, "birds of the same feather—"

She laughed, "Now, where are we supposed to go? It's cold—have you brought a scarf with you? I expect that we will not go to a cold place." he rolled his eyes at her and ignored her question. Ever since their heart-to-heart talk (Kanata scrunched up his face whenever she teases him about it.) Kanata had been open to her about his life: he talked about his family (about his parents who were both artists "That's why you paint!"), his older brother who is now taking up his law proper in Tokyo University; his habits; his favorites and some other topics that they rarely discussed before—they never had a conversation about Rin. Mikan was quite considerable not to bring her up again for she does not want to see him sport a depressed face.

"Where are we going?" she asked him again.

He smiled at her, "Mt. Takao—"

"Are you crazy? It's freezing now," she exclaimed, "and besides, what are we supposed to do there?" she frowned, "I really don't like climbing mountains."

He snorted, "We're going to ride a funicular or a chair lift."

She started to squeal, "Seriously? I haven't ridden a funicular! Oh god, now I know why you came to my life!"

**-O-**

Mikan held on his hand as they waited in line. Kanata who was standing beside her with eyes looking at the surroundings suddenly turned his attention towards her and grimaced. She looked at him questionably before sneezing. It was cold—freezing even and she was glad that snow did not fall today. He chuckled ruefully and rubbed her nose, "are you Rudolph?" she hit him squarely on the chest before huffing and turning away. "Kidding, your nose is red." She rolled her eyes and fixed her scarf. She mentally scolded herself for agreeing to go out with him—she didn't exactly regret her decision but she is freaking freezing, she couldn't even feel her fingers right now. She immensely hoped that she will not acquire frostbite.

Sensing her pensive mood, he glanced at her and raised his eyebrows, "I take that you're not enjoying."

She gave him a murderous glance, "here I am freezing to death, of course I am not enjoying! I _really_ hope you have a sweet surprise once we get there."

"Sorry to disappoint you, I actually didn't plan a sweet surprise." He smirked at her as he led a shell shocked Mikan into the funicular.

"I-" she sucked in a deep breath, her eyes glistening with emotions as she stared at this setting he has created—it isn't even romantic but it was enough for Mikan to make her swoon and mentally start melting for meeting him. Kanata planned a picnic (during winter, I know it sounds so crazy)—complete with the blanket, the picnic basket which contains the food and fire. The scenery was just grand—from where they stand Mikan could clearly see Mt. Fuji and the Tokyo Lights—truly a sight to behold. She absentmindedly squeezed his hand and tried to express her gratitude towards him.

"You shouldn't be surprised about this," he said, "You perfectly know that I always create this—'fairytale setting' whenever I take you out." He stole a glance at her and noticed her dumbstruck expression on her face. She never got used to his surprises. It irked his nerves. Every time he does this, Mikan would allot a quarter of an hour to gape and take in the setting. "Why do you always do this, anyways? It's kinda annoying."

Mikan swallowed the lump in her throat and coughed a few times in order to find her voice, "I—'' she bit her lip and looked away, "Natsume—never, ever did this for me."

"I would really appreciate it if you stop comparing me to him." he said dryly.

She gasped, noticing her mistake, "I am not comparing you—I am actually complimenting you. Kanata, for goodness sake, any girl would want to have you! A true gentleman—a perfect prince! Natsume isn't the romantic type and I—I feel so blessed to have a chance to be with you, to experience this—to feel special."

He was speechless at what she said for a few moments. "Come on, we need to eat. I'm starving as hell."

They ate in comfortable silence; sometimes the silence would end by Mikan's laugh or his snort while observing one another's eating habits. He told her stories about the stars—what their names were and where they are found. Mikan gave him disdainful looks as he narrated—she scoffed at him for thinking that she doesn't know a thing about stars. And to prove that she was telling the truth, Mikan started pointing out all the stars he missed out and told him their stories—they ended up laughing out loud at their contest.

"What do you think about fairytales?"

"Well, they don't exist." He said simply, "I believe in that—but there is a happily ever after. It is up to us to create the ending we want."

She stared at him unbelievingly, "Oh God! You have that belief? Are you gay?" he glared at her pointedly.

"Believe it or not—my mother loved to tell me stories before going to bed," his eyes became wistful as he recalled the memory, Mikan watched him curiously. He looked so fond of his mother and those moments. She silently hoped that they are still close. "Of course now I commanded her to stop doing so, I mean—I am _not_ a girl. Why the hell would she tell me endless stories about those princesses?"

"Because she thought you were gay?" she offered, he growled.

"It always the same—there would be a damsel, the prince would meet her—" he said.

"And then—" she pressed on, playing the game of _What's Next_ as she watched the stars multiply in the sky. He followed her gaze and smiled in wonder, "and then what?" she asked.

"And then—"

She met his gaze and smiled adoringly, "-the prince will kiss the princess," he daintily reached for her cheek and pressed himself closer, the cold was gone and was replaced by his warmth—not only his body warmth but the warmth of his affection and gaze, "like this—" she closed her eyes and felt his gentle lips brush against hers—it wasn't as perfect as the kiss she shared with Natsume all the time—it wasn't needy and as passionate as his. But it was right, it was gentle, it was affectionate—it was like the kiss of the prince, enough to rouse Snow White, enough to prove that Cinderella is his princess and enough to wake Aurora from her deep slumber.

It was a kiss of realization.

"And they lived happily ever after…"

**-O-**

"As you all know, Valentine's day is just around the corner," Hotaru's finger pressed a button, the lights dimmed and the projector started to hum, from Hotaru's mouth the event 'Valentine's day' was just a _special_ day involving thousands of yen. Her eyes were twinkling mischievously as she motioned everyone to look at the screen. The screen displayed hearts moving and the words 'Valentine's day' Operation Student Body abbreviated to OSB, and it bloody hell meant business. If girls love Valentine's Day, men despise it. Some of the guys involved in the events planning shuddered involuntarily and some began to palpitate—they are in for one hell of a Day this year.

A cough mediated through the room and all eyes were set on the person, it was Tobita Iinchou or Tobita Yuu. He nervously pushed up his glasses and smiled at Hotaru, "why are we suddenly putting great emphasis on Valentine's day—in the past years the activities were simple enough: giving chocolates and roses. Why are we doing this?"

"Well," Sumire drawled, "as I can see from Hotaru's euphoric face—I think this Valentine's Day is worth thousands of yens or rabbits."

Hotaru's eyes gleamed, "—which I have missed for how many years. I demand that I earn as much as I can this year to compensate."

"Do you have any ideas?" Mikan asked hopefully, she wants this meeting to end—the sooner the better.

"No, that's why I called a meeting." She snapped, mouth forming into a frown. Mikan rolled her eyes, this will take forever. "Do you have any ideas other than the usual flower and chocolate exchange?"

Change. A big change in the history of Gakuen Alice. that is what she is doing right now. The past presidents of the school never—I repeat—_never_ paid so much attention to this said event. Valentine's day through the years were just normal days—for the single ones, while on the other hand Valentine's day for couples is a day for their acts of lasciviousness, displays of affections and scandals in the hallway to the disgust of the teachers. Detentions even became an excuse to make out with one another, it was clearly irresponsible and teachers detested that day.

Hotaru slammed her fist against the table, "I actually have an idea and I want everyone to participate—and when I say everyone, I mean everyone, I want everyone to participate." She pulled in a breath before speaking in a fast pace, "As you can see—I am in need of money, I want money, I love money—"

"More than you love Nogi-san?" a sophomore piped up who was immediately silenced by Hotaru's killer glare.

"As far as I know, Nogi is not money. I do not want to be interrupted anymore. As I was saying—I love money and of course, my idea brings money. Loads of it." she grinned evilly. "and it involves an auction."

"—don't tell me, we'll put in auction some of the football players' boxers, bras of cheerleaders or—"

"—no. but you're giving me an idea. Mikan, list them down." Mikan rolled her eyes and started scribbling. "I was actually thinking of putting people up in auction."

Most of them stared at Hotaru with pure shock, even Mikan dropped her pen, "people—auction?" Mikan laughed, "You can't be serious. That's akin to prostitution—"

"No sexual favors will be done from this arrangement. I will make sure of that," she turned to Yuu who nodded immediately. "I am not into prostitution. You must know that."

"let me guess, the person auctioned will be given to the highest bidder," everyone rolled their eyes, of course that's how it works, "and then he or she will win a date for themselves?"

"Precisely. Cancel the goddamned contract, Tobita. We will just announce that they will win a date." Hotaru glanced at Mikan, "Is that enough?"

"I think its cliché, Hotaru," Mikan said, "—during the school festival several classes already did auctions, I don't think they will like it anymore—it doesn't seem so challenging."

People began to whisper in agreement, yes that was quite true. People in this school have certainly ran out of ideas and chose to just copy what the other section has—of course the section that has several 'assets' manages to get all the audience, no doubt in that. Hotaru pondered for a while. This is money and she needs to think of a way or a method to stimulate people's drives in order to keep them satisfied and of course, to bring wheelbarrows of money. There needs to be a challenge, something that will make adrenaline rush through the course of their body like—

"Let's make this into a competition."

Eyebrows raised, everyone else straightened up as they lent an ear to their president, "I will need every connection you have to every club or organization in this school. We will need at least one person to put in auction in every organization; other than that—I have thought of a way for them to compete."

Mikan's eyes gleamed slyly, "Is this some kind of RPG?" she was smiling widely now, "this is going to be exciting!"

**-O-**

**A/N: I guess all of you have a little insight about the next chapter—it is about Valentine's Day (cliché, I know) and the RPG game. This chapter was focused on Kanata and Mikan—as you've read for I thought that I have not been paying attention to them in the previous chapters. To those who are asking now if they are together: YES THEY ARE TOGETHER NOW. Hope that satisfies your curiosity. **

**Thank you (yes you, my dear reader) for continuing to support this story. Thank you so much!**


	10. Memory 10: A Date

**A/N: Hey Guys, as I have promised I am back! Many of you asked me in their reviews if they are together already, as I have said in my end note : ****they are together—no more pretending, they're trying to make it work. ****For the people who honestly want Kanata and Mikan to end up—err… just be surprised. I really don't want to spoil anything.**

**I actually have problems regarding my writing:**

**1. Grammar mistakes (Sometimes I just stop and stare at the blinking cursor and reread what I just typed and debate whether it was right or wrong. I don't have a beta you see.)**

**2. I don't know when to stop using (,) or (;) I always do that. I remember my mom scolding me: "Why is this full of commas? Put a period!"**

**3. I don't have an enormous vocabulary and so I tend to repetitively use adjectives or verbs.**

**4. And one of my characters is—UNDECIDED. Guess who? I'm actually annoyed by him already—it's like he has a mind of his own.**

**Regarding the auction—Hotaru decided that it will become a competition—the auction was canceled and was replaced by the RPG. If you want to know what happened—well, feel free! Start scrolling down and read!**

anonymouscat**- I didn't manage to give you a review reply since—well, you're anonymous! Anyways about the plot and the ending—just be surprised. **

**No, this story isn't a hostage any longer, thanks to **BrokenFacades** and one anon who pulled me down back to the ground. **

**Lesson learned: face the freaking consequences of what you do. **

**Memory 10: a Date**

**-O-**

"The fifth commandment of God is 'thou shall not kill...'" Mikan repeated to herself for nth time. When Hotaru announced that Valentine's Day is just around the corner Mikan didn't know that they only had a fortnight left before the said fateful day. She had been procrastinating, (together with the rest of the team) until Sumire blasted her front door open only to scream at her that the deadline was near. Now she was frustrated and _bloody_ tired and where is Hotaru? Where is Hotaru if you will ask? There in her _mother_ _fucking_ office calculating her soon to be rabbits. It drove her absolutely insane that Hotaru entrusted this operation to her (together with Sumire and Iinchou) while she is inside the comforts of her warm office, calculator in her hand and a hot mug of coffee on her desk. It was unfair and she isn't even paid for this job.

A growl rumbled from her throat when a junior bumped into her, _thou shall not kill_, she repeated once more as she gave her a heated glare, ignored her apology and went inside the conference room. It actually made her feel better even just a bit to see people just like her—huddled together around the table with bloodshot eyes and sore hands (they've been revising the proposal over and over) as they planned. It brought her immense satisfaction and in three days, Mikan's lips curved into a smile.

"Well, if it isn't Miss Sunshine," Sumire drawled menacingly, albeit stressed, Sumire still looked exceptional. The only difference is that her hair was tied into a messy bun and her olive eyes were narrower than usual. She has this special talent of concealing dark bags and frown lines with make-up and Mikan knows that she is thankful for that cunning talent. "What's with that ridiculous smile? Can't you see we're in misery?"

A few people inside the room released a weak chuckle. _Misery indeed._ She thought grimly, the lively conference room from their last meeting was changed into a besmirched, bitter and dead area. It practically reeked of stress, frustration—mess and underpayment, (though they aren't really paid) but then no one would complain—no one _could_. One junior student tried, as Mikan recalled her name was Risu, but failed miserably. She was hit by Hotaru's Baka Gun 5000 (the latest one) literally hit by the gun and not the bullets and is _still_ spending her so called life at home, curled up into a ball and not moving an inch. She called in sick since Monday.

"Yes, we're all in this misery together. I just had an urge to smile at people like me."

"Worn down, beaten up, underpaid, messy and stressed out people?" Yuu called out as he segregated paper after paper.

"Yes," she sighed, "why are you segregating these papers anyways?" she neared Yuu and started skimming through the letters, "I take that our focus is not only on Valentine's Day?"

"You should stop calling it Valentine's Day, Sakura." Hideko Jun snapped, "I think we should call it judgment day—or the end of the world or T.G.I.O day." Several murmurs of approval sounded throughout the room. Sumire frowned and turned to ask Yuu what T.G.I.O means.

"—Thank God Its Over." Mikan offered, not even bothering to look sorry for interrupting. She looked up from one of the proposals of having a graduation outing, "have we found a specific location for-the T.G.I.O?"

"oh, oh," one member raised his hand and started waving about in the most enthusiastic way he could muster, but ended up looking like a dried up brain eating zombie. "The gym is the perfect place—it is spacious enough and it can be given to that particular event."

Mikan nodded, "but I was actually thinking of—one of the buildings."

"Unfortunately, we don't have any abandoned buildings," Yuu ran his hand through his hair, "the last abandoned building was demolished last year."

Sumire snorted in disgust, "Well—how about the Organizations Building?" everyone raised their eyebrows at her suggestion.

"You mean _this_ building." A sophomore stated obviously, "we need to ask for permission first if we're going to use this. We're not the only ones using this building."

Nobara who was silent all the time chose to speak up, "I think the gymnasium would be alright."

"Why?" both Mikan and Sumire snapped.

"It is easier to decorate, easier to clean, easier to organize—and the list of pros goes on and on and on. Imagine if we have this—" she shivered, "_whole_ building for that event, and then we'll clean it all by ourselves. That would be hell."

Mikan shut up immediately and considered Nobara's suggestion, having the whole building to clean up will be disastrous and exhausting. Nobara is right. "Well—how can we avail the gymnasium? Any suggestions on how to make this an RPG?"

"I'm on it," Sumire said as she took her phone out, she walked away from them and started to speak, "hello there—this is Shouda-"

"Well, the first problem is now being taken care of, now for the second one…"

"Well—I'm thinking of a maze…"

"Brilliant!" everyone agreed immediately.

**-O-**

Laying out their plans was not as brilliant as they thought the day they decided. Setting up the whole maze needed effort—a _tremendous_ amount of effort that they don't have. Mikan had been chanting the fifth commandment in her mind since they set foot in the gymnasium. Some volunteers were horsing, slacking around and even making out. When Sumire caught a couple making out, she instantly grabbed one of the lumbers they were going to use and started hitting them while screeching out a sermon. Mikan didn't do anything to stop her—she actually grabbed one of the lumbers and threatened to use it when she _wants_ to.

"Well hurry your asses and start working already! What are you all waiting for—Christmas?" she hollered at them. Yuu suddenly appeared beside her and handed her coffee, she muttered a quick thanks and went to the table set at the corner of the gymnasium. The table was cluttered with crumples of papers, a few stacked papers, a blueprint of the maze (Mikan raised her eyebrows at Yuu) and several cups of coffee (She glared at Yuu and started reprimanding about caffeine addiction). She knows she is being too hard on Yuu but she couldn't help it. She needs someone to receive her tension and he is just unfortunate to be standing next to her. Mikan was actually thankful that Yuu is on her team, for without him, any of the supplies they need will not be available (e.g. lumber, paint, nails, hammers and etc.). After deciding that they will create a maze—Yuu started calling his connections.

"'A Happily Ever After,' who designed this?" she turned once more towards Yuu. The theme was cliché for her—it involved a prince (several princes) rescuing a princess. Girls were immediately swept off their feet once someone suggested it while the boys gave them disgusted looks, they wanted to have a war game of some sort, which was more fun for Mikan. True she is a fan of fairytales but she doesn't think it's appropriate to have that theme for the contest—too cheesy. She raised her eyebrow at the poster design spread for her: Rapaunzel, the princess who needed to be rescued from her tower. (She secretly hoped that participants will not use wigs in order to be Rapaunzel.) Yuu shook his head and promised Mikan to know who did the poster, and so he left her alone.

"If you're thinking about the wig and being blonde, no, we are not requiring them to do that." Sumire shook her head, "the women will choose a princess they would like to portray."

"Who would you choose, anyways?"

Sumire gave her a blank look at first before gasping in recognition, "oh! Probably Snow White."

"She's chubby." She pointed out.

"Not as fat as Fiona— or as green." She smirked. "Regarding the participants, I think Yuu managed to get a list of the _favorable_ ones."

Mikan frowned, "what do you mean favorable?" Sumire was already sifting through the papers on the table after locating the list she set it in front of Mikan.

"Did you really expect us to have a princess that is—no offense—ugly?"

Her eyes narrowed at Sumire, debating about snapping at her about Fiona "you really shouldn't use that term."

"Alright, plain." She shrugged, "that alright?" Mikan shook her head at her bluntness; expect Sumire to just blurt out almost anything she wants without thinking. She absently scanned the list, once frowning when she read a freshman's name ("She's hot, seniors are all over her," Sumire pointed out), snorting the next time she read another person's name ("Ah—of course, Koizumi. I don't need to be shocked at your reaction.") She even crossed out several names making Sumire furious at her. After going over for the umpteenth time, she finally set the list on the table and told Sumire, who was still cross with her, to notify them.

She surreptitiously glanced at her phone, it didn't even vibrate. She was expecting him to call, even just to check up on her, but then again, it didn't happen. Speaking of Kanata, he was busy—he was preparing for a competition that's why he is preoccupied. And being the nice girlfriend she is, she didn't disturb him, though she had been yearning for even a single text. She sighed and looked around wistfully, catching another pair making out, she walked towards them and started berating them—she hated couples smooching of _soundly_. Yes, soundly. It was inappropriate and very disturbing. When she and Kanata kissed they never made those slurping sounds, it was just disgusting. _Oh, brother, here I am, thinking of him_, and with that thought her heart sank deeply.

She terribly misses him.

**-O-**

Imai Hotaru stepped down the podium after delivering her Valentine's Day speech which was cold but unexpectedly sweet. In the duration of her speech people never took their eyes from Ruka, who she described as a person of patience, loyalty and love. Mikan and Sumire had been sniggering at Ruka's bewildered but smitten look on stage, which went unnoticed by the crowd who in turn smirked, sniggered and clapped Ruka on the back. Some people possibly thought that it was sweet (since it came from the mouth of the Ice Queen) but for them (their circle) it was undeniably embarrassing. Koko messaged them that he bets fifty bucks that Ruka will pee on his pants while Hotaru delivered her speech. Once done, she stood beside Yuu who immediately muffled his laughter, and smiled to herself.

Mikan thought that what Hotaru did was sweet—she _never_ showed affection towards Ruka, no one has ever seen them kissing, not even a hug in the hallway—and now as she set her eyes on her best friend with that invisible smile on her face, she could tell that she is quite proud of what she did: telling everyone how she feels for Ruka and of course, embarrassing him at the same time. Hotaru caught her gaze and all of a sudden her mask was back on. She glared at Mikan and mouthed 'idiot' as she turned her attention back to the now speaking Hideko Jun.

"…classes would be suspended, I know this information is useless, but still it is an announcement," He rolled his eyes, "Several perks and activities are put up by the council, which are available for use thirty minutes after this opening program—" Jun narrowed his eyes as he held the paper close to his face, realizing that he could not figure out a word, he turned to glare at Sumire. She raised her eyebrow at him and proceeded to read what she wrote. "—as I was saying: activities, yes, the council has prepared a surprise for all of you—not all of you, but, let's just say the men." He winked at the guys who were now listening attentively.

"'A Happily Ever After' is a competition between men who would want to acquire dates for this day. It will be held at the gymnasium at exactly nine-thirty. Details and rules will be explained by some of the representatives of the council. For those who are interested proceed—For goodness sake, not now you idiots, I am not yet done!" he roared, glaring at the now swooning guys in front of him.

He cleared his throat and continued, "Next to that is the rose giving and chocolate giving service by…"

Mikan nudged Sumire, she gave her a sharp look, "Come on, we need to straighten out things about the RPG. I wouldn't want anything wrong to happen. Everything needs to be perfect."

"Honestly, we've double—triple checked everything. Nothing could go wrong. Stop fussing."

"You may never know." Mikan pointed out, "Besides, isn't there supposed to be a representative for the council in the maze?"

"Yes, Hotaru pointed that out to me last night, she called me." She explained, "Anyways, no one volunteered. I mean who would want to? I wouldn't want to be won over by some guy who isn't my prince."

Mikan smirked, an image of Koko's mischievous face appeared in her mind, "Unless it's Koko."

She glared at her, "I suggest you keep those thoughts to yourself or else I would volunteer you for the job."

Mikan laughed victoriously, "Fine, fine." She followed Sumire as she entered the gymnasium, still pissed off at her.

**-O-**

Mikan's jaw dropped as she listened to Nobara. No one volunteered for the job, as Sumire said, and so they all thought of casting a vote in order to get a representative for the student council. No one wasted time as they grabbed bits of papers from Hotaru's hands and started musing about their decision. The boys were smirking to themselves as they scribbled on, clearly pleased that the representative they need is a girl. Excruciating moments later, all of them dropped their votes in an empty jar and awaited the verdict. Hotaru chose Nobara to read the votes. She and the other girls started to sweat profusely and some turned as pale as sheet while Nobara read vote after vote.

The reason for her dropped jaw is this: people voted for her to be the representative! It was totally outrageous and she had the urge of twisting someone's neck preferably Sumire, who was haughtily laughing at her anguished expression. Hotaru seemed nonchalant about the votes. She just sat there and waited for Nobara to finish reading the remaining votes.

"And the last says: Shouda Sumire. But I guess that doesn't change a thing at all. Mikan won the majority of the votes." She smiled ear to ear before catching Mikan's glare. She immediately faltered and apologized.

Mikan was about to protest when Hotaru looked directly at her, implying that she would not pay attention to what she says for it has been decided on. She huffed, furious at her so-called best friend (she took back all she said about Hotaru being courageous and sweet towards Ruka) and then proceeded into tuning them out—all of them. She didn't give a shit about what they said to her or what the rules are. She didn't want this and besides—This day is supposed to be spent with her boy friend, Kanata, and not some random guy who is single and just wants to get a date.

She blinked twice, Kanata! Right! She immediately scrambled off her seat and called him. It was a good thing that she came up with an idea that would certainly be favorable to her. now all she has to do is to keep faith—and trust that he wins her in this competition. She heard his voice from the end of the line, "I need a favor…"

**-O-**

Natsume's eyes screamed murder as he stood beside the other men joining the competition.

He was seriously frustrated at Luna a while ago. She had been pestering him nonstop since the program ended to join the competition. It was bullshit in his opinion and a big waste of time, but then he couldn't take Luna's whines and so he unwillingly joined the competition and paid a hundred rabbits. After signing his name, Luna gleefully skipped inside the maze together with a representative. If she were not the head cheerleader she wouldn't be here and he wouldn't have joined this silly thing.

Someone bumped his shoulder, he jerked his head towards the said person and his eyes immediately narrowed. It was Hibino—Hibino Kanata, Mikan's new boyfriend. He looked shocked at first and then his expression changed into nonchalance. To his utter surprise Hibino didn't apologize, he merely returned his glare and started a conversation with Yuu. He scoffed to himself and searched for Ruka. He found him beside Imai (as usual) and went there to talk.

"Oh, hey Natsume." Ruka smiled, "you're going to join?"

"No, I am here to watch them play—" he jerked his thumb towards the other men, "I already joined this shit. I am going to compete."

Hotaru didn't seem to mind his language; she just nodded at his statement and asked, "Did Koizumi force you?"

"I wouldn't have taken a step inside the gym if she didn't force me." He scowled. Ruka gave him a meek smile, privately saying 'you're under her.' "No Ruka, I am not and will not be like you. stop giving me that smile."

"Oh sure," Imai said, "You aren't under her at all. If you aren't, why are you here?"

"Because I am going crazy with her whines. Hell, why are you so interested in my reason to be here?" he spat.

Imai shrugged at him, "I'm trying to have a conversation with you. That's all. Is that a crime now?"

A stomp and an angry hiss caught their attention, and he was thankful to the person who interrupted them. His gratitude instantly turned into surprise when he saw Mikan beside him, eyes glaring at Hotaru. She didn't seem to notice Natsume or Ruka. Her whole attention was given to Imai only. She didn't stay long; she just glared at Hotaru and scowled at her. After several moments she spoke, told Imai to start the RPG already and left the three of them—only to go to Hibino.

His eyes narrowed once again automatically, by just the sight of Hibino, his blood boiled—it was evaporating now and he could feel the heat escaping his body. He was still irritated by him, after the bump and him being rude, who wouldn't be mad? He isn't angry at him because Mikan was there to talk to him—he was just angry at his existence.

He isn't jealous at all. Not at all.

"What?" felt someone ogling at him and so he turned to face Ruka and raised one of his eyebrows in question. Ruka shook his head and led him to the entrance together with the rest of the people. "I don't like what you are thinking."

"You don't even know what I am thinking." He quipped.

He snorted, "very witty, Ruka, very witty."

Sumire's loud voice from the megaphone interrupted their 'conversation' Natsume mentally cursed Sumire as he together with the other competitors stood side by side. She cleared her throat and explained the rules: no physical harm, no gadgets, no helping, no time limit- in short no anything. All they had to do was get inside the door and find their way to their princesses. The list of names was flashed at them and Natsume saw several familiar names and was actually surprised to see Mikan's name. So that was why she acted angry towards Imai a while ago and that was why Hibino stood in the midst of the competitors. She probably begged him to join and save her.

_What a pity,_ he thought.

"…all of you will enter at the same time in different doors, now all you've got to do is follow your heart and find your happily ever after!" Sumire ended her speech. in a second he was standing in front of the main entrance, together with several other men—thankfully Hibino was not there. Ruka held the door handle and smiled reassuringly towards the men. Imai stood beside him with a cold expression on her face. Before he could enter, Imai grabbed his arm and slipped a piece of paper in his hand. He scowled at the color of the paper as he sauntered inside like nothing happened.

The maze—like he said earlier was bullshit. The obstacles were way too easy and some of the questions asked were common. Very common. It was as if they wanted all of them to acquire a date. But of course, he was smart and agile—everything would be a piece of cake. The only thing that is irritating him is the maze itself. It was too complicated—one moment you were in another place, the next moment you were back like you are being played. He mentally swore at Imai and continued his quest. He would not want to be trapped in this hell. No way. Speaking of Imai, he didn't take a look at the paper at all. It was in his pocket, comfortably sitting there. he turned a few more corners before curiosity got him. he reached for the paper when the intercom screamed an announcement.

"_Sawada Yuri is now rescued by Hibino Kanata. I repeat: Sawada Yuri is now rescued by Hibino Kanata."_

He smiled to himself. Hibino is down and now he could picture Mikan's devastated and panicking face. It was just hilarious. He finally unfolded the piece of paper and read it twice before letting the words sink in.

**Koizumi's door is the second blue one. The idiot's door is the third green one. You decide.**

This is Imai's game—she wants to know what his decision would be. It irked him and he suddenly had an urge to hit someone—he considered the person who he just passed—or something. This isn't about the rabbits; this is about her best friend and their past relationship. Imai Hotaru wants closure and she wants to hear or see it from him. She wanted answers and he is going to give it to her. what a way to cook a scheme. She practically hit two birds with one stone.

"_Koizumi Luna is now rescued by Mitsuro Seiji. I repeat: Koizumi Luna is now rescued by Mitsuro Seiji."_

Or not.

He smirked to himself and saw a camera perched on a corner, he waved at Imai, knowing too well that she is watching now, gave a triumphant wave and crumpled the piece of paper in his hand.

Looks like he does not have to decide at all. Mitsuro decided for himself now.

**-O-**

Mikan felt her heart sink as she gaped at the intercom, Kanata—Kanata—Kanata saved someone else! He didn't save her! "Oh my God." She murmured, "oh my God…" she couldn't believe it. Kanata saved a girl who is not her and now she is left to fend for herself. In agitation, she started pacing around the room, her heart was pounding so fast—she would be insanely happy if Kanata saved her, other than she wouldn't have to go out with someone else, she would have enjoyed a whole day with him watching movies or cartoons even.

But luck was not on her side. Not at all.

"This is the most fucked up Valentine's day ever." She grumbled. She shut her eyes close and counted to ten. She had been stuck inside this room for half an hour and her so-called prince didn't save her—of course he knew where she was—Mikan stopped mulling, of course Kanata did not know where she is! She gasped when she realized her mistake; she mentally berated herself and started muttering apologies which he could not hear. It was foolish to think that Kanata knew where her door is. It was plain stupid. If Kanata knew which door to open, he wouldn't hesitate—hell he would practically speed past every single obstacle without breaking sweat just to get to her. The mere thought made her blush for having such a prince. She was about to day dream once more when her phone started to ring, loudly filling the room with its noise. She grabbed it and answered.

"Yes?"

"I think the right answer to my call is 'no.'" the annoying voice from her phone said, she grunted and stared at the screen 'Koko' it said. She growled in response.

"And why is 'no' the right answer?"

"Well," he drawled, "Your so called 'prince'—no offense though—is stupid enough to miss your door."

Mikan shut her eyes and imagined severing Koko's head—"stupid enough? Why did you hint him about my _whereabouts_ in this game?"

Koko kept silent for a while, she opened her mouth to start berating him when he spoke, "Uh—I think Ruka hinted him off, I really don't know. I was just assuming that he knows."

"This is supposed to be a fair game," she hissed, "I suspect that now Natsume is going to Luna's door because he was hinted too."

She was about to snap back when the intercom buzzed to life _"Koizumi Luna is now rescued by Mitsuro Seiji. I repeat: Koizumi Luna is now rescued by Mitsuro Seiji."_

Mikan gaped at the intercom, she couldn't believe it—she expected Natsume to rescue Luna but she was wrong. Like Kanata, she will bet her life that he doesn't know anything about their locations.

He snorted, bringing her back to their conversation "and why did you bring up Natsume in this conversation?"

"Stop implying that. It's just—"

"Yeah, just a slip of your tongue." He supplied

She bit her lip as she thought of the reason why Natsume popped into her mind during their conversation. She convinced herself that she is over Natsume—she decided that when she kissed Kanta. She is now ready to move on, she is now

"Head's up—your prince has arrived." She could hear his smirk from the end of the line. Her heart thumped loudly, hitting her ribcage with ferocity as she tried to calm herself. She mentally wished to God that it will not be Natsume; her mind was so messed up and so was her emotions. She couldn't bear to see his arrogant, smirking face. She hoped that it will be someone else, anyone but him.

Before she could answer she heard a clicking noise behind her; she turned, hastily snapped her phone shut and waited for the door to open.

The door creaked silently, light immediately slipped into her room. Her breath was caught in her throat as her prince stepped into her room…

She gasped and her phone fell on the floor loudly.

**-O-**

Natsume's eyes met hers as he slipped into the room; he did not fail to notice her gaping expression. Once again, the intercom was brought to life while bearing the announcement of having Mikan rescued. He cocked his eyebrow arrogantly at her gaping expression, clearly showing her shock. It was so easy to read her, she was like a glass for him: Transparent—but when he saw another flash of emotion in her eyes, namely anger, he did not know why she felt that way. Perhaps she hoped that Hibino (he snorted) would save her. He snorted once again at the thought of Hibino saving her; he was an idiot (in his opinion) when he missed her door. His loss, his gain, he thought grimly. He continued to watch her face turn from anger to disappointment.

"Are you planning to just look as pale as a ghost there and ignore your prince?" he mocked. He knew very well that he is touching a nerve, but then he would love to see her get annoyed. On cue, her eye twitched before huffing indignantly. "And who are you supposed to be?"

She gave him a confused look, "I'm Mikan, you know, your—" she was about to say ex-girlfriend but caught herself in time.

He cut her off, "I know who you are," he snapped, "I mean, who among the princesses are you portraying? You don't look like Cinderella or—"

"I'm Aurora, the sleeping beauty." She replied.

Natsume gave her a once over, as he recalled, Aurora is blonde, wears pink and is supposed to be asleep when the Prince arrives. Mikan didn't even look any of the above, she wore blue, her hair is brown and she isn't asleep at all. He smirked at her, "Oh really, you don't look like Aurora at all."

She snorted, "Oh please, I really don't care about that."

"I thought I needed to kiss the princess?" he asked, she glared at him, "it's the rule." Mikan stared at him, dumfounded. They never discussed a rule about kissing the princess. She narrowed her eyes at Natsume; he was spiting her, that's what he is doing. But if the rule were true—Kanata should have kissed his princess. Her eyes widened in terror as she clutched her heart. Surely, surely he didn't do that! He is in a relationship with her! He wouldn't!

"I was just kidding, idiot." He smirked, "you were thinking of naughty things already?"

"I was not thinking of you." she snapped.

"If you say so. Now if you don't mind, let's get out of here and get this day over with." Without waiting for her answer he grabbed her wrist and led her out of the room.

"Oh this is just grand then—I have the _whole_ day to be with you. A perfect way to spend my Valentine's day." She snapped.

"It's your boy friend's fault for not finding you. Don't go spitting fire at me just because of your disappointment." He growled, tightening his grip around her wrist as he dragged her out of the maze. The two of them passed obstacle after obstacle (the volunteers shuddered when he passed by, he knows too well that they are reminiscing their encounter minutes ago.)

She glared at his back for his ridiculous statement. Yes she was disappointed, who wouldn't be? And to make matters worse he ended up inside her room—her ex-boyfriend. This day couldn't get any better. "True, I am disappointed but don't go blaming him for not finding me. How about you? Aren't you supposed to save Luna?"

He didn't turn to look at her, "In case you don't know—I was still working on the obstacles when it was announced that she was already rescued by somebody else—"

She zoned him out. The way he talked about another guy taking Luna as a prize made her uneasy, there was a strange possessive tone in his voice that made her heart ache, though it was not supposed to anymore. It felt strange, alien to hear Natsume talk about another girl or another man snatching her away. Thinking thoroughly, she remembered him not even once being jealous. Her eyes burned as she thought of the other things he is doing for Luna—and the things he have never done for her.

"You're quiet." She didn't respond and so he turned to look at her with a frown. Her head was cast downwards, ignoring his gaze. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she croaked out, "I forgot my phone in the room. I'll meet you outside." She tore her wrist from him and turned her back against him. He didn't say anything at all.

"_Hiroyuki Renji failed to complete his task. Please see him out. I repeat Hiroyuki Renji failed to complete his task…"_

**-O-**

Mikan's amber eyes were fixed on the bracelet around her wrist. In order to make sure that they would spend the day (the rest of the day together) Hotaru invented the trace bracelet. It tells her where exactly the couple is and makes sure that they would not be separated at all. She decided that she hates Imai Hotaru, even though she is her best friend. Before she and Natsume left the school to start their 'date' Mikan gave Kanata a half-reproachful and half-disappointed look, she wanted to spend the day with him and not with Natsume (really, she isn't lying this time) and she wanted to talk to him. But before she could do that, Hotaru announced the rules and explained about the bracelet. (Hotaru's eyes were on her while explaining as if she read her thoughts about escaping) after the explanation, Mikan together with the squealing girls (except Luna) enthusiastically held their arms to Hotaru. "Enjoy the day Sakura, you're only getting him today. No more afterwards." Mikan sweetly smiled at Luna before snapping back, "don't worry, after this date, he's all yours to keep."

"Earth to Polka. You still there? You're spacing out." He said in a clipped tone. Mikan frowned at him as she sighed. Natsume took her to an eat all you can cake shop. She was ecstatic at first, but after shoving several slices of cakes she felt full and bored out of her wits. Natsume barely touched his cakes and just watched her eat. Occasionally he would strike a conversation, but most of the time they were silent. It's not like she didn't want to talk to him but she was just not sure what to talk about. Should she ask about his love life? Or should she tell hers? Just the thought of that conversation made her giggle unexpectedly, it went noticed by him.

"It's nothing. I just thought of something funny."

"Would you like to share? I am sure we can talk about it. we are stuck here for the next three hours. Start talking."

She smiled ruefully, "I thought of talking about your love life or mine."

He snorted at her suggestion, "no Polka. I would not want that. I am not here for a heart to heart talk."

"See I told you." she shrugged, "I know you too well. You should've just believed me when I said it was nothing."

Silence ensued once more. The sweet song from the radio was all they heard. She sighed to herself and thought about their current situation, why didn't he save Luna anyways, why her? she glanced at him. he was nibbling his cake and looking at it intently. Deciding to have the courage to ask, she did.

"Why me anyways? There are a lot of doors and Luna is behind one of those doors."

"Luna was already rescued when I got to the doors. I really don't have any choice at all."

Mikan's heart sank as she absorbed his words. Of course, his girlfriend was already taken and all he needed to do was to choose from the remaining doors. It was not fate—it was just a coincidence. She continued to stare at her tea and ignored the girlish giggles elicited by the women around them. She absently heard them coo about the flowers they received and the chocolates. A small smile graced her lips as she thought of Kanata, she wondered if he is enjoying his date as much as she is enjoying hers (she gagged inwardly).

"Honestly, did it cross your mind that I chose you over Luna?" He snapped. He was frowning at her, clearly disgusted about her thoughts. She rolled her eyes before glaring at a woman who was ogling at Natsume.

"A girl could hope," she quipped with a smirk. Among her friends, Natsume, alongside with Hotaru, can read her like an open book. Just once glance and he knows what she is thinking already. Just one look and he knows how she feels. It disturbed her. It irked her and made her want to punch him on the nose until it breaks. Of course she does not do that, instead she continued to smirk at him.

He didn't answer; he leaned back and kept his eyes focused on the ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Mikan inwardly snorted, what a way to spend a day with him.

**-O-**

Mikan was surprised when Natsume halted the car in front of their house—or mansion, whatever you want to call it. Other than she had not been there for a very long time, she doesn't want to go to his place, she doesn't want to see his parents, especially his mom and Aoi. She nervously swallowed and gave him a weird stare. "Uh, what are we doing here?" she asked timidly. He sighed and released his seatbelt.

"Do you seriously want the two of us to date today? I wanted to go home, simple as that."

"Well," she seethed, "you should've at least thought of dropping me off and not to take me here in the first place. Hell I want to go home too!" she huffed at his reasoning and glared at him.

He didn't glare back, instead he sighed and held up his wrist. The trace bracelet was around it and she understood. They could not be separated at all for the next two hours and because he owns the car and he drivesit—he decides where they would go. She muttered 'selfish' under her breath.

"You said something?"

"I said I can't wait to see them." She faked a smile and pushed her door open, "well, come on—let's go inside _your_ house."

"Are you expecting them to be here?" by them, he means the whole family.

"I am only expecting Aoi. She still comes home during weekends, right?"

He nodded curtly and held the door open for her. She hesitated until he placed his hand on her back and pushed her inside. It was still the same way she remembered it—only that the curtains were changed and the vase sitting on top of an oak table in the foyer was new. She is willing to bet that Natsume or Koko or someone broke the old one. As If sensing her thoughts, Natsume told her Mochu accidentally knocked it over. She laughed and they went to the living room. A maid greeted them, told Natsume that Aoi has not come home yet and asked what they would like to eat. The two of them declined and went upstairs.

Mikan knew the second floor too well. She hung out with him before and she memorized the place. The hall to the right led to his and Aoi's room his two doors down, and adjacent to his is Aoi's. The master's bedroom and the study were situated to the left side. It was nostalgic—she could still remember the days they would spend time here, and the memories they've shared.

Natsume led her to his room and she did not question him, she went inside and found that the room was just like it was before—

Scratch that, there was a major difference. A painting—not just any painting was hanging on beside his desk—it was a painting of the two of them under the Sakura tree, the painting Kanata painted. The one she wanted to buy. Her stare went from the painting to him. She was so confused. If he has the painting here, what did Luna say about it?

"W-Wha—what is that doing here?" she exclaimed, eyes too wide from surprise.

"I bought it." was all he said before he went out of his room and made his way to the study room. Of course he bought it. The question is _why_ he bought it. It took her several moments to think of a way to talk to him and ask him about it before she went out of his room to follow. Natsume is so confusing—they say Women are confusing; hell Natsume is more complicated than she is. She called out his name and he ignored it. She decided to catch up with him.

"We need to talk." She met his strides finally and stood in front of him, defiance clearly on her face; He released an impatient sigh and looked at her.

"Talk about what?"

"Well, for starters about that painting—and maybe the next one about—about—" she couldn't finish her statement. It was too embarrassing; she wanted to ask him why he kissed her before since this is the perfect time. A time where no one can see them or hear them.

"About what?"

"About the kiss." There she said it finally after blubbering gibberish. Natsume raised his eyebrows at her, "You kissed me! Remember?"

"I didn't kiss you, you kissed me." He justified.

"You kissed me when you gave me a ride back home, why?"

"Spur of the moment." Mikan snorted, of all the lame answers that was what he gave her. She was expecting something deeper, something that would make her irk, to make her surprised and to make her understand everything—but he settled for that lame answer. She sighed and met his gaze.

"Just this once Natsume, please be honest to me—Do me a favor and be honest so I—so I could move on."

He gave a cold stare, "I thought you moved on, don't tell me you're dating him while still loving me. That's unfair."

"I know," she replied meekly and kept her eyes on the carpeted floor. "Why did you buy it—why did you buy that painting?"

He barked a laugh, "Buying it doesn't mean that I _still_ love you, Mikan." He cleared his throat, "Hell, I—I don't think I loved you at all." Mikan's glassy eyes met his distant ones, "Grow up for goodness sake. The moment I broke up with you, I meant it. Everything was over. I bought it because it was beautiful—because of the memory we shared underneath that tree."

She kept silent, she was so confused. He still kept the painting—claiming he doesn't love her anymore but because of the memories they've shared; but doesn't that mean the same way too? That you're keeping something because you love the person?

"I don't. I'm being honest now. Please, fucking please Mikan, let your feelings go—you're hurting yourself and him. The more you live in the past, the more you get hurt. I don't want to see you hurting anymore."

He doesn't want to see her hurting anymore? He doesn't? Her eyes hardened like diamonds as she continued to stare into his eyes: there were no emotions, nothing just an endless abyss; and suddenly she doubted about their past relationship, was it even true? Didn't he love her at all? She regretted asking him to be honest. She never thought that this would be as painful and as confusing at what she is feeling right now.

"Mikan…" he gently reached for her arm but she jerked him away. His eyes didn't show hurt at her action, they only showed her surprise. "Don't be—"

Her palm connected to his face in split second. The impact shocked her as much as it did to him but she admitted that it felt good—rejuvenating even. She took several deep breaths and finally found her voice, "Don't be what? Don't be difficult? Ha! You don't want to see me hurting anymore? You are the reason why I am hurting! You don't love me and yet you told me you do before. You went out with Luna without following the three month rule. You told me you only went out with her after you broke up with me. But you know what? I have this nagging feeling that you lied to me about that too. You are the reason why I am still living in the past because every single day of my life I have been wondering why you gave me that reason!"

He didn't answer her, his head was bent to the side—he didn't move at all.

"Do you still know what you told me? You told me I was too possessive, and hell, all these months I have been thinking and racking my brains just to find out why you said that! And it's so frustrating that I haven't found out the reason behind what you said! Possessive? Possessive that I let you hang around with your friends anytime you want even though I want you to be with me? Possessive that I let you do whatever you want to do without questioning you because I trust you? Now tell me, where is possessiveness there? Now it makes a perfect sense, everything was a lie. The relationship, your feelings, you and even the break up—and I feel so stupid that I fell in love with a guy like you. I was wrong to think that you are the one—the one who'd protect me, the one who'd make me smile, and the one who'd make me cry so hard after having a good laugh. You were never him, and you will never be."

She said she moved on, that was a lie. It was a lie she was still living until this talk. She never moved on, there were so many puzzle pieces that did not connect—and now that it clicked even though partially, it made perfect sense and yet it tore her heart and spilled her blood. If this was partial truth and she couldn't handle it, what more when the bomb's dropped?

They say that the truth shall set you free—and yes it does, the only thing is: it hurts like hell.

**-O-**

**A/N: Natsume is one jackass here—agree? He told Mikan he loves Luna and yet he chose her. I bet these questions are in your mind:**

**Why is he being a jackass?**

**Are they still going to end up together?**

**Was he really honest to Mikan when they talked?**

**Does he love her still?**

**Did he even love her at all?**

**Feel free to rant in your reviews****. UPDATE will be on June. (If I manage to finish it on time)  
**


	11. Memory 11: Poker Face

**Disclaimer: **Yes, it is so stupid of me to just announce this in the last chapter. I do not own GA. I only own Hibino Kanata, several minor characters and the plot.

**Words of gratitude to the following people**: Kylee-cat, Cinderpaw11, Mejamoi16, lenprz, pwenie, shit, HappyHam, pockybear2323, QueenB, Aquamarine Lacus, dreamdazzle, akjupiter, xxxHazelxCrimsonxxx, sEcretmiNdLoLITA, Evanescent, AliOrox, , DeadlySilentAnimeLover, Iminwonderland, Msdgirl, .lover, C r a z i i - L O v e., ., kinomotosakura123**, **Sakurapetals13, Kuroichibineko, BrokenFacades and AnnaOj

This last chapter is for you reviewers and you readers.

Finally, after typing almost everything out except the climax after just two weeks since May and managing to get the words going, I finally finished it. June. Ha! I thought I'll update this later than today. The last chapter is here. I hope you'd like it. Start scrolling for the final chapter.

**Memory 11: Poker Face**

**-O-**

"Mikan, I've been calling out your name for ages, are you alright?" Koko asked his own amber eyes clouded with concern. She immediately snapped out of her trance as she fixed a smile, a rather fake one if you ask me, and nodded at Koko's stricken expression. "Are you absolutely sure? You've been—zoning out every now and then."

She mentally cringed at his observation, "It's just that exams are coming up—I know that I don't suck but I've been having these panic attacks since Saturday." Which was partially true, "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine once this is over—" she faltered and buried her face back into her book. She had been having panic attacks since Saturday due to the examinations, the preparations for Valentine's Day and some other festivities took her mind out of studying (she wasn't complaining at that time) and she had been plagued by thoughts of their _talk._ Yes, at this point of time—the sworn guy, Hyuuga Natsume, is still infiltrating her mind. She was dead furious at him because she was left hanging, some questions were answered but there were still gaps—gaps she still wants to fill.

But she was terrified—terrified of the gaps that needed to be filled with the truth. Sometimes, she wished that they didn't talk about it—sometimes she wished that she didn't ask him about the painting; but then she would be blind about the truth if she ignored the painting, she would never know a thing if they did not talk.

"… are you listening, Mikan?" this time, Sumire's annoyed voice reached her ears. She snapped her head towards her and frowned, "clearly you haven't been listening at all."

"Why, what is it?"

An arm encircled her shoulder; she looked up and saw Kanata's disturbed face, "I'm here—for about ten minutes, staring at you. Is there something wrong?"

She debated whether to tell him the truth or just lie. If she tells him the truth—there would be more drama, if she doesn't—well, guilt will eat her alive. So being the coward she is, she shook her head and plastered a fake smile.

"And there she goes with that fake smile of hers," Koko sighed exasperatedly. Mikan threw him a heated glare.

**-O-**

"Mikan," Kanata said sternly as they exited the library. She turned to look at him with a frown, "Tell me what's on your mind, you've been like this for weeks. I didn't ask you about it because I want you to tell me when you're ready. (Mikan almost swooned when he said that, such a considerate guy.) But, I think those weeks are enough. Now, speak or else I would ask Hotaru to make you."

She pursed her lips together and leaned against the wall, "don't drag Hotaru into this. Really, nothing's wrong."

"Yes, nothing is wrong, but _something_ is wrong with you." he said, annoyed. "Now, tell me. Or do you want me to make a wild guess?"

She snorted, "By the way you said you'll make a wild guess, you seem to be so sure of your answer."

"I'm not dumb. I've been seeing you avoiding Hyuuga for the last weeks; you barely speak when he's around. You always make a quick exit once he arrives. You've been avoiding him like a plague. I'm not the only one who notices it—everyone does and you're making a scene."

Mikan narrowed her eyes at him. Was she really that predictable? Could they all easily read her expressions, gestures, actions and movements? It felt like she didn't have any privacy at all. "Why, is it a crime avoiding him now? Please, the world doesn't revolve around him—"

"And there you are again, denying." He snapped. Mikan gaped at him, she was furious, she was supposed to be the one who is angry—it wasn't supposed to be the other way around.

"I am supposed to be the one angry here! Why are you all keeping tabs on me? It's not like I am a little girl—"

"Well, you sure are behaving like one—''

"—you people should just stick your nose into your business and not mine—"

"—in case you've forgotten we're your friends! I am your _boyfriend_—"

"—oh, so that could be an excuse now—"

"—your are _so_ impossible, I wonder how on earth they survived having you around—"

"—it's my talent—_annoying_ people to bits—"

"No wonder Hyuuga chose to break up with you." he snarled.

Final straw. She crossed her arms across her chest and hitched up her chin. That was way below her belt. Kanata knew perfectly where to aim. That was water under the bridge—supposed to be forgotten. People were supposed to move on. She gritted her teeth as she glared at him. He was unfazed and still carried that indifferent expression.

"Natsume—" she began, "had a lot of reasons, which is still unknown, to break up with me. It wasn't just because I was annoying—it was just a tip of the iceberg, and I want to know the other reasons." Her eyes softened, "I've been mulling over things, and I know I am being unfair. But I need to solve this puzzle. I've been having this gnawing feeling ever since and I want to sate it. Can't I do that, Kanata? Am I not entitled to my own self nowadays? Can't I be quiet to think? Must every one of you keep track of my actions? It's annoying!

"And then you came here, argued with me—pointed out my flaws, I was actually hoping that you would understand of all the people—"

"I _am_ trying to understand—but you are taking too long. I don't live by your time, Mikan."

"I am only asking you this once to be considerate, Kanata—is it really that difficult?"

"I've _always_ been considerate—_Forget it_," he snapped, "call me when you're over this—" he sought for the word, "'alone-time' of yours."

She huffed in annoyance. She did not want anyone to keep tabs on her, did not want people to psychoanalyze every movement and every gesture she makes. Why can't people understand that? And now Kanata grew angry at her because of what she said, she growled under her breath and forced herself to keep calm. True, Kanata had been very considerate towards her and she simply shrugged it off. She was such a bad girl friend and she knows this. When she sees him she would apologize.

She wanted to make up with him but decided otherwise—this could be the perfect time to contemplate.

**-O-**

Mikan desperately tried to talk to Kanata for the next two days, he ignored her completely, pretended that she wasn't there and often times when she will tell him that her 'alone-time' is over he would raise his eyebrow at her and saunter off, calling out, "no please, take as much time as you want." She had an urge of throwing something at him every time but musters to keep calm. She needed to be patient and as considerate as he had been. She should return the favor and be the kind to him. She missed him of course for they have never argued before. To think of it, that was their first argument! She can say that it was a vast improvement in their relationship for they are already showing their true colors and selves to one another. She grinned to herself and covered her face with the magazine she was holding.

"Well, for someone who recently had a spat with her boy friend, you look happy—actually crazy, with that grin on your face." Mikan sneered at Hotaru, who seemed to look so nonchalant and emotionless as she sipped her black tea (Mikan cringed; she hated the taste of Black tea.) Hotaru put her cup down, "are you breaking up?"

"No." she answered quickly, "don't tell me everyone's assuming that the two of us will break up now. Can't I have some privacy?"

"Ever since you became famous, no you can't have some. And not everyone is assuming that—"

"Oh, you mean half of the school does, then?" she spat out.

"Don't go spitting at me; I am not the one at fault."

"It's not like it's my entire fault! I've tried—hell, I talked to him, tried to get his attention but all he does is shrug, ignore me or worse turn tables upon me! I do _not_ want to break up with him—here I am swallowing my pride for the sake of our relationship and there he is acting high and mighty with air in his head—" she released a frustrated scream, "I am trying to make this work—for him, for me, because I love him."

Hotaru raised her eyebrows at Mikan, "So, have you told him that?"

She blew into her straw and Hotaru's eye twitched as bubbles formed inside the glass, "What?"

"That you love him."

"O—Of Cou—Oh," she frowned, "No, not yet."

"See? You're hopeless. He doesn't know where he stands right now, I reckon he thinks that all of this is _still_ a charade—yes, I know about your deal—the point is, you should tell him what you feel—you already claimed that you love him, why not tell him now? If you don't he would assume otherwise, slip away and forget about you. Would you want that? He's a keeper. I tell you."

Mikan stared blankly at her best friend, and then wailed, "Hotaru! I really love you!" she reached for Hotaru who immediately scooted away.

"Get the hell off me, Baka. I don't want your germs on me."

Something's never change.

**-O-**

Sumire was all smiles when she came into the Le Cherrie Café across their school. She hummed to herself as she nibbled at her corn muffin. Koko frowned at her; there are only two reasons why Shouda Sumire would smile. It would either be a). She found a boyfriend, which is unlikely at this time since Sumire's main focus is on her fashion plates; or b). She found a person to blackmail in order to get what she usually wants, which is still unlikely since Koko is that person at this time. He scratched his head and frowned at her. As if reading his mind, Sumire scowled at him and answered, "No. none of the above. I have a surprise everyone!"

Yuu and Nonoko, both eyes glued on the Science magazine, scrunched up their faces and called out, "what is it?" while the others—meaning, Hotaru, Mikan, Ruka and Natsume raised their eyebrows at Sumire. Luna and Kanata are unavailable as always, the former leading their cheerleading practice, while the latter is still ignoring Mikan, making her pay dearly of the damage she caused him.

"Tsubasa and Misaki are back in town!" she squealed, at that point, Mikan couldn't help the grin forming on her face. Immediately, she began to become a fan girl like Sumire. "They actually want to meet up with us now."

Ruka snorted, "So this is the surprise? Misaki and Tsubasa's homecoming? Really, I thought you could do better than that."

"You," Sumire pointed at him, "are only jealous of him—because Hotaru gained millions just because of his smirks, unlike you, Hotaru had to sell embarrassing photos!"

Ruka growled, "You still haven't gotten over being a _fan-girl_, huh, Sumire?"

"Jealous that I was a fan of Natsume and never yours?

"—as I remember _clearly_, you alongside with—" Hotaru's icy eyes met Ruka's and Sumire's. Ruka immediately shut up while Sumire sniggered at Ruka's submissiveness.

"Now that the two of you have stopped acting like a married couple (Koko kicked Mikan under the table to stop her from saying 'jealous wife' towards Hotaru) perhaps you can tell us what you know." She directed the statement towards Sumire.

She cleared her throat and reached for her tea, "Misaki and Tsubasa are dropping by—now, they told me they were given a week off the University since it is the foundation week. They said they want us to come with them."

"Come where?" Mikan asked as she bounced up and down.

She gave them a cat-like smile, "why don't you ask them yourselves?" she nodded towards the direction of the Café entrance and they all turned to look. Mikan immediately squealed and dashed away from them as Misaki and Tsubasa entered, both sporting a timid smile as Mikan lunged at them saying, "Tsubaki!"

At this point, Misaki, the red head with matching magenta eyes and a strong posture nervously laughed and whacked Mikan's head, "Stop that name pairing—it freaks me out."

"Mou," Mikan pouted at Misaki, still clinging on to Tusbasa's broad shoulders, who seemed to look contented with a big smile on his face and a twinkle in his midnight blue eyes. "Don't you like it Misaki-senpai? Ne," she turned to look at Tsubasa, "Wha—you have a star tattoo!" she pointed at the tattoo right below his left eye, "why?"

"He lost a bet." Misaki explained shortly, she waved at the others and held Mikan's arm, "let's go then."

"Where's Kaname-senpai?" She asked as Koko pulled an extra chair for Misaki and playfully grinned at Tsubasa who asked him if he would sit on Misaki's lap because of the arrangement. Misaki hit him on the head.

"He's busy—his father is actually expecting him to design every single toy they sell," Tsubasa rolled his eyes as he dragged an empty chair, "So, what's up?"

At this certain point of time, Sumire took the reins by spilling every single gossip she heard inside the campus, Tsubasa and Misaki gave her the needed reactions at every end which made Sumire go further. Finally tiring out, Koko began to tell them stories about the happenings in the school and clearly emphasized on the Valentine's Day Celebration. The two laughed and shook their heads at the foolishness of everyone else and Hotaru's greediness—Koko exaggerated a bit which made Hotaru displeased, thus earning him a shot from a new gun she developed. Mikan laughed along, pouted at their rude comments, snapped at Natsume for being a jerk and smiled at them. It was just like before, when everything was young and innocent and fresh, when there were no wounds to heal, when there was not a single problem.

Her ringtone disrupted their talk; she hurriedly took it and stared at the screen. Kanata was calling. She sneered and held the phone away with disgust. She begged, crawled and kissed his feet and now he just calls randomly? She was about to shut her phone when she caught Hotaru's do-it-now-or-else-you-die look and answered the phone halfheartedly,

"Oh, what a surprise—Kanata—oh yes, my boyfriend called me after—" she hummed to herself pretending to be thinking, "—several days of ignoring me, am I supposed to be swept off now, huh? Why did you call? Make this brief because I do not want to talk about gibb—what? At seven? Are you—are you absolutely sure? Uh, yeah, sure. Congratulations, yeah, I'll come with you pick me up by six thirty. Yes—no I haven't ruled it out yet you doofus. No—no I don't love you stop whining! We'll talk later. Bye."

Tsubasa was staring right at her, "I thought they were just rumors."

She narrowed her eyes, "what rumors?"

"That you have a new boy friend," Misaki gave Natsume and imploring look, "looks like it _is_ true. Well Natsume, if you cheated on her mark my words you'll pay."

"Or if you chose a Barbie doll instead of her," Tsubasa nodded. Natsume scoffed at them and looked away.

"You did both?" the two gasped.

"The latter." He replied smugly. Mikan fought the urge to confront him, instead she sucked in a breath and excused herself.

"So you and lover-boy are back in good terms?"

She shrugged, "I don't know yet."

"Well," Misaki said slowly, "I'd like to meet this guy of yours. Bring him with us next week."

"Why? What are we doing next week?"

"Tsubasa's taking us to their renovated summer house near the beach, just like the old times. Do so Mikan, or else I'll track him down and kidnap him."

Mikan just smiled.

**-O-**

"Well, bummer. Looks like it is going to rain." Misaki sighed as she pulled the curtain to look at the dark grey clouds looming above the house. "I thought we can swim around but it'd too cold." Tsubasa came up behind her and pulled her into an embrace, "Don't worry, I'll keep you warm." Misaki thwacked him with the magazine in her hand and moved away from him. Mikan giggled and flipped to the next page of her magazine. It was their second day in the summer house, everyone was in the living room, the Iinchou and Kanata playing chess while Koko and Mochu coached. Ruka in a conversation with Natsume, Hotaru, Nonoko and Sumire about College and her, sitting on the couch, magazine in hand as she watched the sky darken.

Kanata met her eye and she growled. They still have not ruled it out. She was civil in the event he invited her to, but other than that she was hostile. In the end, Hotaru asked him to come with them and so he did excitedly—until he found out he is going with her gang. He and Natsume were polite but the tension was different and he became a cute little thing for Misaki and Tsubasa. It was funny really. Seeing him being tortured was the best sight ever for her. She went to the kitchen, declaring the need for a beverage and asked everyone if they'd like some. No one asnwered and so she made her way alone.

Closing the fridge's door tightly, Mikan straightened up and stood by the counter, her hand settled her glass on the kitchen counter. In her peripheral vision, a figure stood by the door frame. Her hand tightened its grip as she stared at Natsume, looking as if he was waiting for this moment. Mikan sighed to herself; the moment of truth has finally come.

She heaved a sigh and stared directly into his eyes.

"I still have a lot of unanswered questions; care to enlighten me? I think this is the right time, and be honest." She said directly, tone holding no arguments as she leaned against the kitchen counter and braced herself for the loaded conversation they are about to have. She didn't have to wait long, Natsume immediately fired.

"You want me to be honest? Do you really want me to?" He asked, "I can—I could, but I don't want to hurt you."

"Bullshit!" she spat out, amber eyes hardening as she gripped on the kitchen counter, "You've hurt me enough. I don't think this will change anything."

He ran his hand through his hair before leaning against the counter, arms crossed, eyes fixated in a distance. "I didn't love you when we were together—"

Mikan's blood immediately boiled and her vision started to blur at his confession, "—it was sudden. I just did Imai a favor. I hated you, you were annoying, loud, clingy—God, everything I didn't want for a girlfriend."

"Then why? Why did you still continue to have that—_relationship_—with me?"

He turned his head sideways and met her searing glance, "because I thought it would work."

"And then when you realized it can not work you just simply broke up with me, is that it?"

"You want me to be honest. Yes, that is it. Simple as that."

"And you didn't want to hurt me further, that's why you did that?"

"Precisely."

She sucked a breath and narrowed her eyes, "true, I would've ended up more hurt if you continued your scheme, but you left me hanging—"

"Hanging in what sense?"

"Hanging that I don't know why you broke up with me. Telling me I was possessive was the most _bullshit_ reason I have ever heard. You weren't honest."

"That's because I did not want to hurt you." he stressed out.

"And you think that by concealing the truth it would lessen the pain you were about to give me? In case you don't know—that fucking reason was the reason I was hurting, why I was stuck in the past because I was too busy thinking why you said that! You should've been honest."

"Then you would've cried."

"Well so? I'll cry—for a week or two then I would move on. Bury that break up six feet under the ground unlike now. How many months have passed until you've answered the question running in my head? How many months have I been hurting just because of your lies? Why did you do that?"

He gave her an incredulous look before stepping in front of her, "because I care. Because I know how sensitive you are—that's why I lied."

"_Care_? If you cared, you should've just stopped the day after I presented you to mom if you cared you wouldn't have dated Koizumi within a week of our break-up. If you cared—"

"Does it matter? Look, I just wanted to avoid doing that to you—I didn't know that this would be the outcome of everything—fuck." He ran his hand through his hair once more and averted his gaze from her.

"Is—is it one of your lies again, Natsume? Don't you ever stop lying? God! I am not going to fall for your bullshit again. You care for me, what will you say next? You are just using Luna? You don't want her? You're just trying to make me jealous—" Mikan exhaled, "ha, don't tell me, you love me now?"

"No," he said after a moment of silence. His jaw clenched as his fists too, "it's not a lie. I do care about you and I—"he met her eyes, pleading her to believe him, "I love you." she opened her mouth but he held his and, "let me finish, true, I told you I didn't love you when we were together. It was too impossible. We were just too different and you weren't my type. At that time all I could think about was someone else, someone better. That I could do so much better. I broke up with you, I was hurt too. I knew that by doing that—by giving you a bullshit excuse—I knew that we can never be back to normal. But when we saw one another, you greeted me like I was one of your friends, you called me by my first name, you were normal. Like nothing existed, like nothing happened, and I thought, maybe it really didn't mean anything—that there were no mutual feelings.

"And then Luna came along, she was everything I wanted—a status symbol, I am a jock she is a head cheerleader. We were supposed to be together and I grabbed the opportunity, because it was what I wanted. And then Hibino came along," he spat out, "he adored you, gave you all the attention you wanted, the love you craved, the care you needed—and I was there, watching you—it was _sickening_—seeing you're smiling face, your blushing cheeks, your dainty laughs. And then I realized, when we were together, it wasn't like that. I gave you no attention, not a single ounce of care, not even a speck of love. I grew jealous. Jealous of the way you look at him when he is there, the way you brighten up when you talk about him, the way you say his name in that sing-song voice of yours. I realized I wanted you—I wanted everything to be back. I wanted to be him. I wanted to be with you.

"I realized that I was a fool—fool that I let you go. You gave up so many things for me—showed me what you are capable of for love—patience, understanding, care, loyalty and devotion—I realized you are everything I wanted and I fucked up, and I wanted to get you back. Imai did something—" Mikan raised an eyebrow at what he said, "in the maze—she hinted me about your whereabouts and Luna's. She wanted me to decide—but I didn't. The moment I opened the letter, Luna was already saved and I went for you. Better you than any of those girls."

"But in that statement of yours you are clearly telling me that you love Luna—you're lying." She pointed out. Another lie of his.

He gave her a tired look, "I am not. I like Luna, in the sense that she is perfect—a complete Barbie doll, a symbol—who wouldn't like her? She is nice. Someone I'd want to be with in public—"

"And now that you realize you love me, you're going to break up with her? Throw her away like trash? Is that it?" she pitied Luna, pitied that she was a pawn to his plan, moved without her decision.

"No."

"_No_? And now you're telling me you love me? Natsume—_you are fucked up_! I've never seen a guy like you. You want assurance, you can't let go of something because you are afraid that you won't have anything left for yourself! You are a coward, Natsume! Face it, when you love someone you lose something. Love is a decision. Love is a choice—you should know your stand and not be an assy prick who wants to get everything he wants!"

His head dropped and he laughed a bitter one, "I fucked up didn't I? What do I have to do—what do I have to do to make things right again? What?"

"You can't. You can't change anything at all."

Finding her footing, Mikan exited the kitchen, eyes blurring from frustrated and confused tears and legs shaky because of his confession. She didn't show it but it was confusing, hurting even, if everything was not as complicated as it is now, maybe she should've taken him back—maybe they'd be back together. Why did it have to be now? Why did he only realize his feelings now? She heard him call out her name, he even managed to grasp her wrist but she shook it off, "Mikan," he pleaded, "please." His face was crumpled, his own crimson eyes like her puppy ones. Mikan just stared at him, her mind blank.

Kanata watched as Mikan brushed past him without looking, muttering something about fresh air. He frowned at her and tried to reach her; she evaded his grasp and made her way towards the front door. No one stopped her, everyone was too busy talking and complaining about the weather. He was about to move when Natsume entered the living room, a frown on hard on his face, crimson eyes seeking for a face. He knew he was looking for her. Clenching his jaw, he bumped past him and made his way out of the house, ignoring their calls.

**-O-**

He found her several meters away from the porch of the summer house, her back was on him, her auburn hair thrown sideways by the wind as she crouched down on the sand. The waves were far but he could still hear their faint roar against the shore. A loud rumble of thunder sounded after a streak of lightning flashed. He winced, he knows that Mikan hates storms—especially the terror duo. The lightning and the thunder.

He was a few feet away from her when he heard the sniffs and choked sobs. He made her cry again. His knuckles turned white as he clenched them. He always makes her cry. That bastard.

"I am so sorry." Mikan gulped, the rain started to fall and all he could do was stare at her. He badly wanted to hold her, tell her that everything will be alright. But it couldn't be. Especially now when she is hurting inside and out. The truth is too much. "I am so sorry that I dragged you into this drama—into my life," she sobbed, "I didn't expect my love life to be so messed up! It was supposed to be simple, I falling in love with a prince and the prince will love me—a happily ever after. But no," she laughed bitterly. "Everything had to be full of lies and deceptions. Why did it have to end up this way?"

Kanata's eyes softened as he watched her shoulders slump and her sobs increase. He was useless. Even he couldn't be the prince. He couldn't save her.

"Why did he have to tell me that he loves me? Why now? Why didn't he love me before when I loved him? _Why now?_ Why now when I've straightened up everything?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat and reached for her, she didn't resist, she kept her head bent, tears spilling down unbeknownst because of the rain, hand trembling as she held his arm. "Sometimes—" he shut his eyes and tried to find the words, "A moth will take its wings for granted until the fire burns it and he is no longer a moth. He is not a moth without his wings—sometimes people don't realize what their possession's worth until they've lost it. I—I think I understand him. This is the answer."

"He lost me now, hasn't he? I am no longer his and he is too late—even though he breaks up with her, it will not change anything. I don't feel the same way. I don't. Not anymore."

He sighed and tipped her chin up, he met her puffy eyes and red nose, "You don't have to lie—I would understand," he cupped her face and smiled, "I would. I promise."

Amidst her feelings and the stormy weather, her smile shone, "I thought it would be impossible to forget him—he the most sought after guy in the school, he the prefect guy, he the guy every girl wants. He was everything I wanted, everything I desired, but he didn't love me. There was nothing. But then you came and I was pulled out of the darkness, I thought my wounds would never heal, but you came—you nursed me and took care of me. You are the reason why up to now I am still fighting—why I am still trying. Kanata, I won't lie. I owe you too much to not give you the truth. I love you—you are the one I want. I've been meaning to tell you this—but I don't know how I could. This is really a fucked up timing but I guess, this is the only time I could tell you. I love you."

He searched through her amber eyes, trying to decipher a lie, something that would make him regret this afterwards, but he couldn't fathom anything. Sincerity was all over her face and even her touch, a constant pull on his heartstring made his features soften as he cupped her cheeks with his warm hands. "You know how I feel. Finally, you let go."

**-O-**

"_You!"_ Kanata roared once he stepped back inside the living room after putting Mikan in her room, Natsume looked up with his mask of nonchalance as he stood up without complaints. Kanata had been itching to knock the hell out of him—for hurting Mikan and for making things so complicated. His blood boiled at the sight of his poker face, he looked like he didn't care at all. Didn't care that he hurt her—didn't care that he lied to her face completely, he didn't care at all. Without a clear thought in his mind, Kanata hurled his fist directly on his cheek. It hurt his knuckles but hell, it was worth it. Ruka and Tsubasa immediately appeared in the middle of them, Ruka holding Natsume and Tsubasa gripping Kanata's arm. Just in case he would do it again.

He shrugged Tsubasa's hands, "I won't do it again. That was enough. I want to talk to him alone." the two guys shared uncertain looks, but then Natsume nodded at them and told them to get lost and so they left.

"We'll take this outside." He barked his hand on his cheek, Kanata had another urge to punch him but hesitated, one punch was enough. He still had the nerve to demand.

Once settled outside Kanata turned to him, his jaw was clenched and his arms were crossed in front of him, thinking of a way to start the conversation.

"Hibino," Kanata cocked an eyebrow at him, "this is about her isn't this?"

"No," he drawled sarcastically, "this is about Nogi's little cute bunny. Of course it's about her."

He released a sigh and leaned against the wall, "well?"

"You are really one cocky jerk aren't you Hyuuga? Is your heart made of stone? You just made her cry."

"She wanted me to be honest. I told her the truth, she wants something and then she'd make it look like it was my fault. Real mature."

"I don't want to hit you again—but I swear if you blame her about your faults once again—I _will_ punch you."

"Go ahead." He offered, "I know I deserve it."

His companion snorted, "Wow, didn't know your ego can easily deflate just like that."

"Hibino—do me a favor and let's just get this over with, Polka cried earlier, everyone noticed it. It would be a nightmare if you started whining and crying in front of me too."

He paused for a while, "do—do—do you still love her, Hyuuga?"

Natsume kept his stare at the dark horizon before them; he released a soft sigh from his lips and cocked his head towards him, "what do you think?"

"Stop answering my question with a question! I'm not a mind reader—I can't read you, just tell me."

"The truth doesn't matter. You have her now and I lost."

"If you love her—you shouldn't have let her go. She was honest to you—she loved you for who you are, she set aside your differences, made allowance to your shortcomings—heck Hyuuga, any man would want a woman like her and there you were—throwing her away like trash. She loved you and all she got from you are lies and conspiracies. Mikan deserved so much better—"

"I know—that's why I broke up with her, because I know that I was not good enough for her—I know she deserves so much better." His voice was faint. His eyes distant as if Kanata was no longer there.

Kanata pressed his lips together, when those words escaped Natsume's lips, he knew it wasn't a lie. It was the truth. The truth he concealed from Mikan. He knows to well that he was that person—and he is making him take the responsibility of making her smile and laugh. To protect her, to keep her safe, to love her, to keep her and to cherish her. He gave her up now, to him, no one else.

"Hibino," he croaked out finally, Kanata turned to look at him with a disdainful stare, "—take care of her."

"I will."

**-O-**

"Friends can be lovers but lovers can not be friends." The quote has been inside Mikan's head the whole morning. She could not concentrate on anything at all. Is it true that you can be lovers but you can not be friends afterwards? Heavens, before she thought that was true. I mean, who on earth would want to befriend your ex? Especially when he cheated on you and lied to you the whole time. It was just unforgivable. No one would want to be friends with your ex. But that was before—when everything else was simple, when people were so shallow and naïve, when there were only two choices: friend or unfriend. Gone were those days. If you would say that to her today, at this precise moment, she would think otherwise. In her view, friends can be lovers and lovers can be friends once more—that is if you can easily forgive him for wounding you and tearing your heart apart. Mikan forgave—but she did not forget, she could still feel the healing wounds in her heart. If only staples and elf dust can ease the pain, she would thank a surgeon for that.

If you asked her if she could be friends with Natsume months ago, she would have laughed cynically and slapped the bitch in front of her while saying: "are you mad?" but if you're going to ask her now—the answer would be different. She matured, she learned to forgive, she put the past behind—she took steps towards the future and never turned back. It was over and that's that.

Mikan's fork dropped unexpectedly, creating a loud clanging noise inside the café.

"You—you—you did what?" one of the waiters came and handed her a new fork. She thanked him and then turned her attention to Natsume. "You did what?"

"I said, 'I broke up with her.' Will you listen to me when I am talking?" he asked, annoyed.

"B-but—but why?"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Polka. I did not break up with her just to be with you."

She scowled, "Stop shoving words into my mouth. I did not assume that you broke up with her to be with me."

He expected her quip and so he smirked and began to play with his cake. He really did not break up with Luna just to be with Mikan. He snorted at the thought of that reasoning, Mikan is still with Kanata and he knows very well that she would not give up her Prince to be with him, someone she did not like and did not trust, and he knows that it would be impossible for her to forgive him and take him back—for now.

"I expect Luna to be furious right now. No one has ever dumped her."

"Someone did."

She looked startled, "Really, who?"

He jabbed his thumb towards him. One moment she looked crossed, the next moment she laughed. He grinned at her reaction and stuffed his mouth with cake.

"Knew you'd still be so full of yourself."

"So, what's going on with you and—" he broke off, still annoyed by Hibino's name—actually annoyed by his existence.

"Kanata? Well, it was quite a shock when he accepted his scholarship—not that he needs it—in Tokyo U. . It irked me that he chose a business related course than Fine arts or architecture. I mean, who'd take a business course?"

Natsume chuckled, "Koko did."

"That is because they own a hotel—and he's an only child. Of course he needs to take that up." she sighed, "How about you?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Most of the time he's busy—always studying, heck even in our dates he has a book with him. I really didn't think that he's a dorky type of guy." She paused. "On weekends he takes me out, still like before—silly rendezvous and all the stuff that couples do. I bet you're jealous—"

"I am." He said flatly.

She tucked a hair strand behind her ear. "What I mean is—I bet you're jealous that you are single."

He snorted, "Not at all. I prefer this life. No whiny, clingy girlfriend asking me to take her out on a date or go shopping with her. This is the life."

After a short pause he asked her, "You still want to be with him?"

She met his gaze, "if this is going where I think this is going—yes, I still want to be with him."

"So there is no hope, huh?" he cocked his head to the side and waited for her response

"There is still hope—it's not just now." She smiled. He was about to retort when her phone rang, immediately grabbing her attention. He watched her expression—first annoyed and then relieved. She smiled at him and mouthed 'Kanata.' His heart sank. He nodded at her and she took the call, "Hey Kanata—No I'm not with Hotaru. I'm with Natsume—don't be silly…"

He watched her talk to her prince on the phone; her eyes shone as bright as the stars and her lips widened into a smile. He doesn't deserve her—she's happy with someone else.

But she said there is still hope.

Maybe someday, the two of them will be on the same page.

Maybe someday, she would realize how sorry he is for hurting her.

Maybe someday, she would be able to forgive him.

Maybe someday, he would be able to gain back her trust.

Maybe someday, she will fall once again in love with him and they'd be together once more.

Maybe when the time comes, she will understand how valuable his love really is.

Maybe someday, they would have their own happily ever after.

Maybe someday.

She put her phone down and beamed at him, "So, Kanata told me he'd be doing something today. I'm free. What do you want to do?"

That time will come sooner or later, but now he must enjoy this, enjoy the friendship she offered and try to gain her trust once more.

He could still continue to love her without her knowing and be friends, right?

Now there's only one thing he needs to do:

Keep up with his poker face.

**END.**

**-O-**

**A/N: **So this concludes Poker Face. Sorry if I did not manage to exceed your expectations in the end. She ended up with Kanata—true. But Natsume is still there, and as she said, "there is still hope." Let's all hope that the time will come soon for the two of them to get back together. **Sometimes we just need to let go of things to make way for better ones.** **Love is a decision,** a lesson learned by Natsume—in order to attain love one must be willing enough to sacrifice everything for that person. It is up to his or her choice what to do to make things work.

I am half sad and half relieved that this story has ended. Thank you guys for thoroughly supporting me—through slow updates and fast ones, pesky demands and rants, thank you for accepting me, my writing skills and this story. I hope this story has touched your lives the way it touched mine.

This was supposed to be something that is a shallow plot, but when I put me feelings, my efforts and myself into it, I realized that this story is coming from a deeper level. I have issues of letting go—which I have now. It is the choice I made and I am glad I did so.

P.S. Epilogue or no epilogue? Bet you'd want one.

Until next time,

Bickeringgibberish


End file.
